#15: Ode to a Grape: An Exercise in Absurdity

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Jun 021998
 

Title: Ode to a Grape: An Exercise in Absurdity
Fandom: N/A
Characters: N/A
Rating: G-
Warnings: Crack. Fruitsalad.
Notes: Ars(e) Poetica #15. May/June 1998. 14-17 are numbered but not dated. By the content and numbers, I can place them approximately, but I make no claims to the accuracy of the dates. I'm calling it June 2, for my sanity's sake.

This was written while I was having lunch in a pancake house that has long since been bulldozed to make way for a pharmacy.
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#14: Through The Plexiglass

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Jun 021998
 

Title: Through The Plexiglass
Fandom: N/A
Characters: N/A
Rating: G-
Warnings: Crack. Fruitsalad.
Notes: Ars(e) Poetica #14. May/June 1998. 14-17 are numbered but not dated. By the content and numbers, I can place them approximately, but I make no claims to the accuracy of the dates. I know it is after May 14th, when Frank Sinatra died; it's after Bonny Mad Charlie went missing — I have his parents names written in pencil a page or two before #14… And I can tell by the pen that 14-17 were all written on the same day. I'm calling it June 2. If you know me wrong, let me know.

This was written while I was having lunch in a pancake house that has long since been bulldozed to make way for a pharmacy. Line 8 is a reference to "Dogs Don't Go Moo," a story I'll tell later, when I start telling the Mythic History of the Wasteland.
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#10: Ad Nauseum

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Mar 021998
 

Title: Ad Nauseum
Fandom: N/A
Characters: N/A
Rating: G-
Warnings: Totally fake contrition, fag wants to drown a girl in the toilet.
Notes: Ars(e) Poetica #10 :: March 3, 1998. The Thespian President's girlfriend pissed me off. A lot. Mostly because I was horrifically envious, and she was a constant reminder that he was straight. A couple months after this, he told me he'd been dating her because SHE REMINDED HIM OF ME, but less scary. Then, I really wanted to drown her in the toilet. Possibly twice, just for good measure. Yes, yes, you can call me Queen Bitch, if you must. (Bonus points to anyone who understands why there's a Clive Barker reference in this one.)
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#8: Madonna of the Loft

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Mar 021998
 

Title: Madonna of the Loft
Fandom: N/A
Characters: N/A
Rating: G-
Warnings: Teen wangst
Notes: Ars(e) Poetica, #8. March 2, 1998. I was listening to a lot of Robyn Hitchcock, at a guess, and at this point in time, I was pretty sure I wouldn't make it into college, and I had no idea what I was going to do with my life. It was one of those few moments in life, when all illusions of immortality and importance were stripped away. (And bonus points to anyone who knows why Robyn Hitchcock is at all relevant, here.)
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#6: Entreaty

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Feb 271998
 

Title: Entreaty
Fandom: N/A
Characters: N/A
Rating: G-
Warnings: Self-sporking
Notes: Ars(e) Poetica, #6. February 27, 1998. It's a joke. A taunt. A not so gentle fork in the face, mostly directed at myself. This was when I decided I was going to publish a book of shitty sonnets, and stick this on the back cover.
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#5: Eden for a Letter

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Feb 271998
 

Title: Eden for a Letter
Fandom: N/A
Characters: N/A
Rating: G-
Warnings: So shallow, I don't even splash.
Notes: Ars(e) Poetica, #5. February 27, 1998. The Thespian president cut his hair, and I know I wasn't the only one horrified by it. However, it was for a part — it was for the art — so we couldn't hold it against him.

Eleven years later? Yeah, still that shallow. Even bald, I'd have done him, though, if he swung that way. Can't say no to beauty and talent.
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