Title: Not Another Word
Fandom: Forgotten Realms
Characters: Gromph Baenre ♂
Rating: T ( L0 N2 S0 V0 D0 )
Warnings: A bit of side-butt
Notes: Somewhere, Jarlaxle has opened his mouth, and Gromph already has regrets.
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Title: Assumptions Unravelled
Fandom: Forgotten Realms
Characters: Kimmuriel Oblodra ♂
Rating: T ( L0 N2 S0 V0 D0 )
Warnings: Low-hanging loincloth
Notes: You can't sneak up on a profoundly skilled psion. The door is behind you, do let it hit you in the ass on your way out.
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Title: The Weight of Nothing Overhead
Fandom: Forgotten Realms
Characters: Jarlaxle Baenre ♂
Rating: G- ( L0 N1 S0 V0 D0 )
Warnings: One shirtless drow
Notes: The votes are in, and y'all gave me 'Salt-Mining the Underdark', so it's gonna be salty drow all month, plus this somewhat less salty drow. 'OMG,' you say, 'why is a drow out in the sun? They can't see in sunlight!' Which, yes, but also A) you can't see his other eye and B) it's Jarlaxle, and I promise there are magic items for exactly that.
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Title: The Archmage Who Didn't Ask
Fandom: Forgotten Realms
Characters: Gromph Baenre ♂
Rating: G- ( L0 N1 S0 V0 D0 )
Warnings: Half elf, half fish, no shirt… also no patience
Notes: … your opinion, Jarlaxle. Please envision the world's most annoying rogue, according to 3/3 people who put up with him regularly, standing just out of frame, and having the sorts of opinions he tends to, at the perfect volume to distract anyone but Kimmuriel. Brothers, am I right?
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Title: Not Even Underwater
Fandom: Forgotten Realms
Characters: Artemis Entreri ♂
Rating: G- ( L0 N1 S0 V0 D0 )
Warnings: Half man, half fish, half shirt, now with bonus stabby implements
Notes: He does not like you with a goat / He does not like you in a boat / He does not like you undersea / He does not like you, can't you see? Entreri wouldn't think I was funny, either.
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Title: Soon to be Empty
Fandom: Forgotten Realms
Characters: Kimmuriel Oblodra ♂
Rating: G- ( L0 N1 S0 V0 D1 )
Warnings: Half elf, half fish, no shirt. I don't know what that's a glass of, but it sure is purple.
Notes: I'm sure I was making jokes about psionics and fluid dispersal while I was working on this, but now I remember none of them. Suffice to say the glass is no longer full.
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Title: A Pretty Lure
Fandom: Forgotten Realms
Characters: Jarlaxle Baenre ♂
Rating: G- ( L0 N1 S0 V0 D0 )
Warnings: Half-elf, half-fish, half shirt
Notes: Ladles and jellyspoons, it's MerMay. And what does the poll say? You absolute lunatics have asked for the finest fish of the underdark. My co-author Maverik did a memorable lanternfish!Jarlaxle a few years back, so I'm sticking with the theme, here, or at least the lantern.
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Title: A Taste For Elves
Fandom: Forgotten Realms/Dragon Age
Characters: Jarlaxle Baenre ♂, Artemis Hawke ♂
Rating: E ( L0 N4 S4 V0 D0 )
Warnings: It's porn.
Notes: Or maybe a taste of elves? Crossover pr0nz, for Maverik by request of 30Mice, featuring Jarlaxle and the wrong Artemis.
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Title: The Other Artemis
Fandom: Dragon Age/Forgotten Realms
Characters: Artemis Hawke ♂, Jarlaxle Baenre ♂
Rating: E ( L0 N4 S4 V0 D0 )
Warnings: It's porn, lads! Also, consensual breathplay.
Notes: A certain mysterious benefactor commissioned a gift for
OverlordKye, and I was happy to deliver. Part of a half-assed crossover AU we occasionally kick around at the Gazette, Thedosian Jarlaxle may not get the Artemis he wants, but he can definitely have the one that's hot for his elven c…ulture.
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Title: Gesticulating With Corn
Fandom: Forgotten Realms
Characters: Jarlaxle Baenre ♂
Rating: G- ( L0 N1 S0 V0 D1 )
Warnings: Shirtless drow, implications of wine
Notes: For Kye, Jarlaxle telling stories about Entreri, over dinner. It's probably Athrogate he's pointing at, like 'You were there! You saw him do it!'
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