Jul 062026
 

Title: The Prize in the King Cake
Fandom: Forgotten Realms
Characters: Jarlaxle Baenre
Rating: T ( L0 N2 S0 V0 D0 )
Warnings: Some side-butt, one trashy elf being trashy
Notes: Y'all really thirsty for some drow, huh? For the second month in a row, they topped the polls. And, you know, it's also my birthday this month, and I'll be celebrating obnoxiously all month long.

First up, if any drow was going to jump out of a cake in little more than ribbons, we all know which one that would be.
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Sep 012025
 

Title: The Weight of Nothing Overhead
Fandom: Forgotten Realms
Characters: Jarlaxle Baenre
Rating: G- ( L0 N1 S0 V0 D0 )
Warnings: One shirtless drow
Notes: The votes are in, and y'all gave me 'Salt-Mining the Underdark', so it's gonna be salty drow all month, plus this somewhat less salty drow. 'OMG,' you say, 'why is a drow out in the sun? They can't see in sunlight!' Which, yes, but also A) you can't see his other eye and B) it's Jarlaxle, and I promise there are magic items for exactly that.
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May 262025
 

Title: The Archmage Who Didn't Ask
Fandom: Forgotten Realms
Characters: Gromph Baenre
Rating: G- ( L0 N1 S0 V0 D0 )
Warnings: Half elf, half fish, no shirt… also no patience
Notes: … your opinion, Jarlaxle. Please envision the world's most annoying rogue, according to 3/3 people who put up with him regularly, standing just out of frame, and having the sorts of opinions he tends to, at the perfect volume to distract anyone but Kimmuriel. Brothers, am I right?
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May 192025
 

Title: Not Even Underwater
Fandom: Forgotten Realms
Characters: Artemis Entreri
Rating: G- ( L0 N1 S0 V0 D0 )
Warnings: Half man, half fish, half shirt, now with bonus stabby implements
Notes: He does not like you with a goat / He does not like you in a boat / He does not like you undersea / He does not like you, can't you see? Entreri wouldn't think I was funny, either.
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May 122025
 

Title: Soon to be Empty
Fandom: Forgotten Realms
Characters: Kimmuriel Oblodra
Rating: G- ( L0 N1 S0 V0 D1 )
Warnings: Half elf, half fish, no shirt. I don't know what that's a glass of, but it sure is purple.
Notes: I'm sure I was making jokes about psionics and fluid dispersal while I was working on this, but now I remember none of them. Suffice to say the glass is no longer full.
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