Sep 012025
 

Title: The Weight of Nothing Overhead
Fandom: Forgotten Realms
Characters: Jarlaxle Baenre
Rating: G- ( L0 N1 S0 V0 D0 )
Warnings: One shirtless drow
Notes: The votes are in, and y'all gave me 'Salt-Mining the Underdark', so it's gonna be salty drow all month, plus this somewhat less salty drow. 'OMG,' you say, 'why is a drow out in the sun? They can't see in sunlight!' Which, yes, but also A) you can't see his other eye and B) it's Jarlaxle, and I promise there are magic items for exactly that.
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May 262025
 

Title: The Archmage Who Didn't Ask
Fandom: Forgotten Realms
Characters: Gromph Baenre
Rating: G- ( L0 N1 S0 V0 D0 )
Warnings: Half elf, half fish, no shirt… also no patience
Notes: … your opinion, Jarlaxle. Please envision the world's most annoying rogue, according to 3/3 people who put up with him regularly, standing just out of frame, and having the sorts of opinions he tends to, at the perfect volume to distract anyone but Kimmuriel. Brothers, am I right?
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May 192025
 

Title: Not Even Underwater
Fandom: Forgotten Realms
Characters: Artemis Entreri
Rating: G- ( L0 N1 S0 V0 D0 )
Warnings: Half man, half fish, half shirt, now with bonus stabby implements
Notes: He does not like you with a goat / He does not like you in a boat / He does not like you undersea / He does not like you, can't you see? Entreri wouldn't think I was funny, either.
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May 122025
 

Title: Soon to be Empty
Fandom: Forgotten Realms
Characters: Kimmuriel Oblodra
Rating: G- ( L0 N1 S0 V0 D1 )
Warnings: Half elf, half fish, no shirt. I don't know what that's a glass of, but it sure is purple.
Notes: I'm sure I was making jokes about psionics and fluid dispersal while I was working on this, but now I remember none of them. Suffice to say the glass is no longer full.
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May 052025
 

Title: A Pretty Lure
Fandom: Forgotten Realms
Characters: Jarlaxle Baenre
Rating: G- ( L0 N1 S0 V0 D0 )
Warnings: Half-elf, half-fish, half shirt
Notes: Ladles and jellyspoons, it's MerMay. And what does the poll say? You absolute lunatics have asked for the finest fish of the underdark. My co-author Maverik did a memorable lanternfish!Jarlaxle a few years back, so I'm sticking with the theme, here, or at least the lantern.
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Feb 132025
 

Title: A Taste For Elves
Fandom: Forgotten Realms/Dragon Age
Characters: Jarlaxle Baenre , Artemis Hawke
Rating: E ( L0 N4 S4 V0 D0 )
Warnings: It's porn.
Notes: Or maybe a taste of elves? Crossover pr0nz, for Maverik by request of 30Mice, featuring Jarlaxle and the wrong Artemis.
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Mar 142024
 

Title: The Other Artemis
Fandom: Dragon Age/Forgotten Realms
Characters: Artemis Hawke , Jarlaxle Baenre
Rating: E ( L0 N4 S4 V0 D0 )
Warnings: It's porn, lads! Also, consensual breathplay.
Notes: A certain mysterioubenefactor commissioned a gift for PillowfortOverlordKye, and I was happy to deliver. Part of a half-assed crossover AU we occasionally kick around at the Gazette, Thedosian Jarlaxle may not get the Artemis he wants, but he can definitely have the one that's hot for his elven c…ulture.
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Nov 282023
 

Title: Gesticulating With Corn
Fandom: Forgotten Realms
Characters: Jarlaxle Baenre
Rating: G- ( L0 N1 S0 V0 D1 )
Warnings: Shirtless drow, implications of wine
Notes: For Kye, Jarlaxle telling stories about Entreri, over dinner. It's probably Athrogate he's pointing at, like 'You were there! You saw him do it!'
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