Introducing Ralph

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Feb 052010
 

Title: Introducing Ralph
Fandom: ST XI
Characters: Kirk, Bones, Scotty, Uhura, Sulu, Chekov
Rating: T
Warnings: Booze and angst. Also, revolting humour.
Notes: So, this is one of those cases of true story, fictional characters. Drunken shenanigans ensue, after the crew's safe return to Earth. Spock wants none of it, Uhura gets offended, Scotty comes to the rescue, and Bones … well, Bones is unintentionally hilarious.
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Vulcans Don't Meow (in public…)

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Feb 012010
 

Title: Vulcans Don't Meow (in public…)
Fandom: ST XI
Characters: Spock, Kirk, Scotty, Chekov, Uhura, Sulu, Bones
Rating: G-
Warnings: Typical catlike behaviour. Hairballs.
Notes: tehopheliac won this from me in the help_haiti fandom auction, and I have just now finally finished the bloody thing. She requested Spock as a cat. I still suck at crackfic. Apologies.
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Complications in the Head

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Dec 152009
 

Title: Complications in the Head
Fandom: ST XI
Characters: Spock, Kirk, Uhura, Scotty, some extras
Rating: M
Warnings: Alien peen, inappropriate use of a bathroom
Notes: For the crackmeme, but you knew that. I used to hang out in this fab gay bar, where there was only one bathroom. It had stalls. Sometimes people got into shenanigans in them, and we'd sit on the sinks and take bets… Of course, I'm the only bloke I know who looks like a twelve-year-old girl, so I kind of miss the single-bathroom theory of design.
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Voglia Di Dance All Night

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Oct 012009
 

Title: Voglia Di Dance All Night
Fandom: STXI
Characters: Spock, Uhura, Kirk, Bones, Scotty, Chekov, Sulu
Rating: G-
Warnings: Slightly cracky.
Notes: Crackmeme strikes again. I think I'm adding a crackmeme tag, later today, when I get up off my lazy. OP asked for some clubscene bridge-crew. I made it happen in the worst possible way, and probably actually failed to fill the prompt. And if you know the dance Kirk's doing, by name, you're probably from my town.
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Theme Songs!

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Aug 182009
 

Title: Theme Songs!
Fandom: ST XI
Characters: Kirk, Spock, McCoy, Sulu, Chekov, Scotty, Uhura
Rating: T
Warnings: Kirk opens his mouth. Spock finds Uhura fascinating.
Notes: Crackmeme strikes again. OP wanted some theme songs for crew members. I filled in the blanks.
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[DRABBLE] But, I See You've Won First Prize

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Aug 092009
 

Title: But, I See You've Won First Prize
Fandom: ST XI
Characters: Scotty, Kirk, Spock
Rating: M?
Warnings: Non-sexual wang, pure crack
Notes: I was ASTOUNDED that this hadn't already been done in ELEVEN INSTALMENTS of the damned kinkmeme. Dude, HE WEARS A FUCKIN' KILT. It's CANON — TOS canon, anyway.
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The Five Times Scotty and Chekov Interrupted Lunch

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Jul 262009
 

Title: The Five Times Scotty and Chekov Interrupted Lunch
Fandom: Star Trek XI
Characters: Scotty/Chekov, McCoy, Kirk, Spock, Uhura
Rating: T
Warnings: Language and implications
Notes: This was some pure crack I picked up at the crackmeme. Keyphrase is "Not in the restaurant, dammit."
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Drunken Lullabies

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Jul 162009
 

Title: Drunken Lullabies
Fandom: Star Trek XI
Characters: Spock, Scotty, Chekov, McCoy, Uhura, Kirk
Rating: G-
Warnings: drunk!Spock
Notes: I'm so sorry that Scotty sounds Irish through this whole thing, but I can't write Scots worth a sprightly damn. *looks sheepish* *avoids jokes involving sheep and Scotsmen* Also, the Black Forest, if you're not familiar with it, is a drink involving cherry brandy, vodka, and chocolate syrup. It's really chocolatey. The songs are Drunken Lullabies by Flogging Molly and Irish Whiskey by Cherry Poppin' Daddies. I am also insanely pleased with the idea of Spock as a drunken sentimental mess.
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