Sep 062018
 

Title: Dwarven Candy
Fandom: Dragon Age
Characters: Gytha
Rating: T ( L0 N2 S0 V0 D0 )
Warnings: A butt cheek; a lot of leg
Notes: For Tumblrdragoncatsnuggles, who didn’t want to bother me, because I’ve been busy, but fuck it. I’m procrastinating anyway. Here’s Gytha, the dwarven dildo-maker. (Thanks for helping out!)
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Jan 142018
 

Title: OC Kiss #7 – Gytha/Anton Hawke
Fandom: Dragon Age
Characters: Gytha , Anton Hawke
Rating: G- ( L0 N0 S0 V0 D0 )
Warnings: None
Notes: Anton belongs to Tumblrsaiya-tina. I’m pretty sure Anton’s pursuing something new and dragony from Kirkwall’s best stonecarver. Flattery gets you everywhere, Anton…
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Apr 302016
 

[ Master Post ]
Title: Rhapsody in Ass Major – Chapter 362
Co-Conspirator: TumblrMaverikLoki
Fandom: Dragon Age
Characters: Anders , Bethany Hawke , Varania , Paivel , Gytha , Theron Mahariel , Artemis Hawke , Fenris , Cormac Hawke
Rating: T (L2 N0 S0 V0 D0)
Warnings: Discussions of hot Hawke-on-Hawke action, implied groping
Notes: Conversations with Bethany, who knows and sees all things.
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Apr 292016
 

[ Master Post ]
Title: Rhapsody in Ass Major – Chapter 358
Co-Conspirator: TumblrMaverikLoki
Fandom: Dragon Age
Characters: Cormac Hawke , Artemis Hawke , Anton Hawke , Bethany Hawke ,  Cullen , Varric , Anders , Fenris , Varania , Natia Brosca , Gytha , Sebastian
Rating: T (L2 N0 S0 V0 D1)
Warnings: Inappropriate sausage humour, codpieces, Sebastian is much too drunk for this party, more flagpole jokes
Notes: Sebastian, no! Anton and Anders to the rescue. Natia has her eye on a particular brother.
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Apr 292016
 

[ Master Post ]
Title: Rhapsody in Ass Major – Chapter 357
Co-Conspirator: TumblrMaverikLoki
Fandom: Dragon Age
Characters: Cormac Hawke , Artemis Hawke , Anton Hawke , Cullen , Varric , Anders , Fenris , Theron Mahariel , Varania , Paivel , Natia Brosca , Gytha , Sebastian
Rating: T (L2 N0 S0 V0 D1)
Warnings: Inappropriate sausage humour, codpieces, Sebastian is much too drunk for this party
Notes: Anton vs. Orlais. Fine elven craftsmanship. The introduction of Andrastian sausage. Varric to the rescue.
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Apr 292016
 

[ Master Post ]
Title: Rhapsody in Ass Major – Chapter 355
Co-Conspirator: TumblrMaverikLoki
Fandom: Dragon Age
Characters: Cormac Hawke , Artemis Hawke , Bethany Hawke , Theron Mahariel , Gytha
Rating: T (L2 N0 S2 V0 D1)
Warnings: Hot Hawke-on-Hawke action, inappropriate sausage humour
Notes: A brief dalliance. Hot Hawke-on-Hawke action, interrupted.
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Apr 292016
 

[ Master Post ]
Title: Rhapsody in Ass Major – Chapter 354
Co-Conspirator: TumblrMaverikLoki
Fandom: Dragon Age
Characters: Cormac Hawke , Artemis Hawke , Anton Hawke , Bethany Hawke , Carver Hawke , Isabela , Cullen , Varric , Anders , Fenris , Theron Mahariel , Varania , Paivel , Serendipity , Gytha , Sebastian
Rating: T (L2 N0 S0 V0 D1)
Warnings: Inappropriate sausage humour, codpieces
Notes: Paivel annoys Sebastian. Certain parties sneak off to better enjoy the sausage privately.
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Jan 222016
 

[ Master Post ]
Title: Rhapsody in Ass Major – Chapter 320
Co-Conspirator: TumblrMaverikLoki
Fandom: Dragon Age
Characters: Varric , Isabela , Fenris , Gytha , Anders , Aveline
Rating: T (L2 N0 S0 V2 D1)
Warnings: Dick jokes, weaponised dildo, canon-typical violence
Notes: Dicks, dicks, and more dicks. It’s a dildo shop, innit? Now with dickish dicks with extra dickery.
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Jan 222016
 

[ Master Post ]
Title: Rhapsody in Ass Major – Chapter 319
Co-Conspirator: TumblrMaverikLoki
Fandom: Dragon Age
Characters: Varric , Isabela , Fenris , Gytha , Anders
Rating: T (L2 N0 S0 V0 D1)
Warnings: Dick jokes, weaponised dildo
Notes: Trouble in paradise! Bandits in the dildo shop! (The Page Six referenced in this chapter is A Hopeful Development in Mage-Templar Relations by RedEris. The Gazette is still accepting Page Six submissions, if you’d like to add to the madness.)
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Apr 052015
 

Title: Rhapsody In Ass Major
Co-Conspirator: TumblrMaverikLoki
Fandom: Dragon Age
Characters: Cormac Hawke , Artemis Hawke , Anton Hawke , Bethany Hawke , Carver Hawke , Leandra Amell , Gamlen Amell , Anders , Aveline , Cullen , Donnic , Fenris , Isabela , Merrill , Sebastian , Varric , Ella , Jethann , Keran , Meredith Stannard , Orana , Orsino , Raleigh Samson , Serendipity , Tallis , Varania , Theron Mahariel , Kallian Tabris , Alim Surana , Natia Brosca , Nathaniel Howe , Gytha , Zevran Arainai , Cassandra Pentaghast
Rating: E (L3 N4 S4 V3 D1)
Warnings: Smiting, buggery, zero relationship skills, gesticulating with ham, gesticulating with dildoes, is everyone in this fic bisexual?, we did bad shit to canon, butts. did I mention butts? because butts., sass & class & ass, wow damn you can say that in Latin, non-explicit het, non-explicit femslash, terribly explicit slash
Notes: DA2 AU in which both Carver and Bethany survive, and there are three older Hawke siblings. And all of them are Purple. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll want to set Fenris on fire a couple times. Nobody knows what the fuck they’re doing, but they’ll do it anyway! At least people usually know who the fuck they’re doing… Except that one time. Starts cracky, but gets semi-serious, decently quickly. Never gets entirely serious, because hello, Purple Hawke does not ‘serious’. Or at least three of them don’t all at once. IT’S A GODDAMN ROMANCE. JUST READ IT.

"Why does everyone keep saying ‘ass’?" said either Anton or the pile of blankets in his shape.

(Fucking AO3 just deleted the 33 chapters of this that we posted in the last month. And now I’m posting it here, JUST IN CASE JESUS FUCKING CHRIST. This master post will take on new chapters as I manage to post them, so it should stack up pretty quick over the next day or two.)

Update: This master post will include the entire series. Links to AO3 for the parts I didn’t have any part in writing.
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