The End of the Beginning

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Feb 162010
 

Title: The End of the Beginning
Fandom: Harry Potter
Characters: Albus, Aberforth, & Ariana Dumbledore, Gellert Grindelwald
Rating: T
Warnings: Canon character death, homophobia
Notes: It's mentioned in canon that the Dumbledores' sister was killed, by accident, in the midst of a three-way duel, between the brothers and Gellert Grindelwald. Here's my take on that. It's pretty ugly.
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Introducing Ralph

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Feb 052010
 

Title: Introducing Ralph
Fandom: ST XI
Characters: Kirk, Bones, Scotty, Uhura, Sulu, Chekov
Rating: T
Warnings: Booze and angst. Also, revolting humour.
Notes: So, this is one of those cases of true story, fictional characters. Drunken shenanigans ensue, after the crew's safe return to Earth. Spock wants none of it, Uhura gets offended, Scotty comes to the rescue, and Bones … well, Bones is unintentionally hilarious.
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Vulcans Don't Meow (in public…)

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Feb 012010
 

Title: Vulcans Don't Meow (in public…)
Fandom: ST XI
Characters: Spock, Kirk, Scotty, Chekov, Uhura, Sulu, Bones
Rating: G-
Warnings: Typical catlike behaviour. Hairballs.
Notes: tehopheliac won this from me in the help_haiti fandom auction, and I have just now finally finished the bloody thing. She requested Spock as a cat. I still suck at crackfic. Apologies.
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Pigeon-proofing

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Jan 042010
 

Title: Pigeon-proofing
Fandom: ST TOS
Characters: Spock, Kirk, Scotty
Rating: G-
Warnings: Crack. Pigeons.
Notes: This is utter rubbish. tehopheliac gave me a crack!prompt with which to generate her Christmas gift, and it is both late and crap. The pointy!boxers are apparently an actual feature of the new Spock Prime figures, and this was our attempt to explain them. I got nothing.

[=EDIT=] Now with art by thisfishflies!

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Too Many Fingers, Not Enough Pie [part I]

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Dec 162009
 

Title: Too Many Fingers, Not Enough Pie [part I]
Fandom: ST XI
Characters: Spock, Spock!Prime, Starek, Stavret, Orion Engineers
Rating: M
Warnings: Smut, language, foreign language…
Notes: Another one I started and didn't finish for the crackmeme. It's on my queue. I'll finish it, eventually. OP requested a hand!porn orgy, and I have cheerfully provided.
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Complications in the Head

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Dec 152009
 

Title: Complications in the Head
Fandom: ST XI
Characters: Spock, Kirk, Uhura, Scotty, some extras
Rating: M
Warnings: Alien peen, inappropriate use of a bathroom
Notes: For the crackmeme, but you knew that. I used to hang out in this fab gay bar, where there was only one bathroom. It had stalls. Sometimes people got into shenanigans in them, and we'd sit on the sinks and take bets… Of course, I'm the only bloke I know who looks like a twelve-year-old girl, so I kind of miss the single-bathroom theory of design.
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Tala t'Zaprah

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Dec 042009
 

Title: Tala t'Zaprah
Fandom: ST TOS
Co-authors: diane_kepler and proudcockatrice
Characters: T'Nis, Starek (and a few surprises)
Rating: M
Warnings: Violence, non-con
Notes: T'Nis thinks kidnapping is the way to Starek's heart — or at least some of his vital organs.
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