[ Master Post ]
Title: Rhapsody In Ass Major – Chapter 184
Co-Conspirator: 
MaverikLoki
Fandom: Dragon Age
Characters: Cormac Hawke ♂, Artemis Hawke ♂, Fenris ♂
Rating: G- (L1 N0 S0 V0 D0)
Warnings: Cormac opens his mouth
Notes: Preparations for another wedding.
Cormac, for a change, did not have his feet on the coffee table. He wasn't actually trying to annoy his brother, this time. "So, I saw Aveline, the other day. Actually, I showed up in her office, unexpectedly, bearing gifts. Seemed to be the correct approach. But, she said she'd love to be at your wedding, and you just have to let her know when it is. Can't imagine Donnic would want to miss it, either, with the amount of money he very explicitly doesn't owe Fenris." He laughed and caught Artie's sleeve as his brother flitted by to dust something else upsetting. "She means it, though. She'll be there. We'll all be there."
Artemis finished picking dust out of a corner on the shelf he was working on before he looked back at his brother. "I hope so," he said. "That she'll be there, that is. Fenris and I owe her, Maker knows." He thought of the corset she'd helped him pick out, of how that night had changed his relationship with Cormac as well as Fenris. Artie cleared his throat, scratched behind his ear. "But… yes. Good news, all around." He twisted the rag in his hands and considered moving on to the next shelf. "She and Anton, are they still…?" He gestured vaguely. "You know."
"Yeah, she's not exactly thrilled with Anton, right now. I think she blames him for the Qunari attack. Really, I'm pretty sure that was some combination of her and Isabela, and mostly Izzy. But, she needs it to be Anton. Needs it to be Anton's fault for disagreeing with her on something that, honestly, I hope she never finds out I disagree with her about, too. She went there with a purpose, and it was a good one, but… she couldn't back away, when things weren't what she expected." Cormac sighed and slumped down in the chair, hands over his face. He pushed his hair back, after a moment. "Anton was there to handle the Arishok, but the Arishok wanted something else from him. Wanted the damned book. Two and a half years, and he still gets drunk and complains about it, when Cullen's not around. That whole thing fucked him up. Fucked me up, too." He held out a hand to Artemis. "Do me a favour and don't die, okay?"
A wry smile twitched at Artie's lips. "I'll do my best," he said, turning back to the bookcase, crouching to dust the next shelf down. "But didn't you call me a god? Aren't gods supposed to be immortal?" Which, he supposed, didn't necessarily mean they couldn't be killed. The Old Gods were a testament to that. "Hey. I have my fancy rock armour now, remember? I could probably punch through a dragon's skull with that." Not that he was going to try. He'd leave anything dragon-related to Anton and his insanity. "And don't you die either or I'll be very cross with you."
"Dying is not on my list of things to do," Cormac assured him.
With Aveline no longer an issue, Artemis went through his mental checklist of what needed to be done for the wedding. So many arrangements had to be made, flowers, catering, seating… "So… I guess this means we need to pick a date, don't we? That is the next step, isn't it? Or am I missing something? Am I missing something, Cormac?" Artie twisted to peer up at his brother.
"There's a party the night before, but that's on me. I just need you to tell me when you're doing this, so I can take care of it. You all right with the Rose? I'm thinking I can fill the place with elves, for you. Anders can go take a flying fuck at the archdemon. If you want Jethann there, I will make sure Jethann is there." Cormac grinned, lopsidedly. "You're actually getting married. My very favourite little brother is having a wedding. I can't believe it. I just… never thought you'd do it, Artie. You and your one-night stands and your elf thing… But, here you are, getting married to a right stand-up sort of elf. I like him, Artie. I don't want to do him, but I like him. And he's crazy about you, and that's what matters."
Artemis cleared his throat and ducked his head, grinning stupidly at the line of books in front of him. He forgot about that sometimes in the stress of all this wedding planning. "I guess I was just waiting for the right elf," he said. "That was cheesy, wasn't it? It was cheesy. True, though. I still can't believe… Maker. And to think, the first time I met Fenris, I accidentally slammed him into the floor and he purposefully slammed me into the wall. In the unfun way."
Artemis finally straightened, deciding he'd done as much as he could with this bookcase. He sat next to his brother, still twisting the rag over in his hands and looking about, trying to figure out if he'd missed anything. "But, erm. Elves, you say. At the Rose." He hummed speculatively. "I'll set a date with Fenris once he gets back."
"Wait for the spring, Amatus," Fenris pleaded, absolutely not making his best sad faces at Artemis. No, that would be cheating. "Autumn is too close, and we cannot take advantage of the gardens in the winter. It invites misfortune to wed after the harvest, as well." His toes clutched at the floor as he said this last, and he looked away. He wasn't sure he believed it, but thus far, tradition had worked well for them — fancy underthings, a goat — perhaps this was another tradition to follow. "And my sister. I wish my sister to be present. I am no longer an illiterate slave. I am a man with a home and a husband, and I wish her to know me first at my finest. So, please, let us do this in the spring."
Artemis smiled at his fiancé, and it was a soft kind of smile that lit his whole face. He could deny Fenris nothing when the elf looked at him like that, and he certainly wouldn't deny him this. "Of course, Fen," he said, leaning in to kiss his cheek. "That gives me more time to plan anyway. To make arrangements. Make sure everything is in order. And I want your sister to be there. She's going to be my family too, after all, and the one sister I already have is kind of scary."
"Kind of?" Fenris asked archly.
"Very," Artie amended. "I just hope that my, er, siblings behave themselves."
"Behave themselves? Your siblings tend to be fairly composed, in public." The last was really the truth in that sentence, Fenris thought. They were never ill-mannered in front of people, at least not that he'd noticed. "Unless you have concerns about Carver punching the bear, again."
"I always have concerns about that," Artemis replied. "Although, you're right about the 'in public' thing. I was going to say that I'm always concerned when my family and drinks are involved, but, er… I guess that's mostly me." He twisted his fingers in his hair and gave an embarrassed half-shrug.
"Amatus, it's going to be your wedding night. I'll be right there with you. If you get any foolish ideas, you can introduce me to the floors of a few more closets. Hopefully, not Anton's closets, this time…" Fenris grimaced at the thought of their last closet adventure. "Whatever you want, however drunk you get, Cormac and I will make sure no one finds out what you decide to do." It was probably a better promise than that he'd stop Artemis from doing terrible things. At this point, Fenris wasn't even sure he could establish where 'terrible' intersected with Artemis, except that it probably involved someone else becoming aware of it.
Artemis gave one pointed ear an affectionate tweak. "You spoil me," he said. He didn't plan to be drunk for his own wedding — he wanted to remember everything — but, well, he rarely ever planned to be drunk. "But yes, no closets. We have plenty of alternatives, after all. Bedrooms, a cellar. Our garden's not as… extensive as Anton's, but we could make do. Just no trees, please."
Fenris huffed a laugh that Artie quieted with a kiss. Not for the first time, Artie couldn't believe his luck that this handsome elf, that Fenris wanted to be with him forever. Spring suddenly seemed a long way away.
