[ Sky – Master Post ]
Title: Ten Things About Arkady
Warnings: References to sex, expletives, mentions of suicide.
Notes: Arkady’s a bit of an odd one — a contradiction wrapped in mystery, wrapped in contradictions.
1. Cats. He loves cats. He’ll probably never have a cat, because being on tour really doesn’t lend itself to keeping pets, but he keeps dating girls who have cats — sometimes more for the cat than the girl.
2. He does not, in fact, have varicose veins. He’s just got translucent skin and high blood pressure. The more stressed he gets, the brighter and thicker the blue lines become. He thinks he’s got varicose veins, because he’s usually stressed out.
3. He’s left handed, which makes Betty crazy, because he can’t get through a meal without elbowing her, if they’re sitting together.
4. He’s learned that starting a fight you can’t finish is a horrible idea, so most of the time he just lets people manhandle and molest him, unless he’s completely certain he can be sufficiently terrifying to win in less than three moves. Since he’s become famous, it’s actually gotten easier to run people off, since they tend to attribute him with a whole lot more ass-whooping power than he actually has.
5. He and Severen got matching shirts, from Sin, one year. They read, simply, "Don’t Fucking Touch".
6. He’s fanatical about not having body hair, because he can’t stand to look at himself with it, and he hates the way it feels. There are a few places he doesn’t shave, but only because a few accidents with the straight razor convinced him that waxing was the way to go. He’s jealous that, at forty, Severen’s about as fuzzy as a fifteen-year-old.
7. As much as he tries to make it so, sex is not the answer to his suicidal tendencies. He keeps telling himself that if someone else wants him, he must be worth something, but he thinks so little of himself — and so many of the people who have had sex with him do, as well — that he ends up hating anyone who actually sleeps with him, with few and notable exceptions. And those exceptions ended hideously, without exception.
8. He’s completely and wholeheartedly in love with himself, or rather, with the idea of being with someone who knows him so completely that he can’t lie, he can’t weasel, and he can’t just walk away. And since he’s bright and beautiful, sometimes he’ll drink a six and chat up his reflection, but remember, in the end, that he can’t actually stand himself. This is exactly why he’s so crazy about Betty — starry-eyed for twenty years kinds of crazy.
9. He’s a huge fan of raw fish. As much as he loves Severen’s cooking, sashimi and ceviche are among his favourite things, about one notch down from good diner fries.
10. While he pretends to be stupid, most of the time, he’s actually brilliant at math, and while he’s missing some of the words to describe what he knows, because he didn’t go to college, he can do game theory and flowing time equations on the backs of napkins. He does, however, totally lack the context that this is not normal, and not everyone can do it. When asked to describe how he got an answer, he usually just replies, "I got it because that’s what it is. What else would it be?" and he writes it off as someone else thinking he’s stupid, because he’s pretty.