[ Sky – Master Post ]
Title: A Hundred Veils
Characters: Sin, Sebastian
Warnings: Smut-flavoured smut
Notes: So, I’ve been trying to fill in some of the dead spaces, so the book makes more sense, when read in order. This is kind of a huge insight into why Sebastian’s so entirely broken about sex. Extreme stress during adolescence causes all sorts of non-essential systems to fail…
Sin was working afternoons, trying to save up the money to move to the desert, in the fall. He’d put in applications to a few different PhD programs, but that one seemed the most likely, and Sebastian wanted to get as far away from Massachusetts as he could manage. So, it was a little bit strange that Sin should find himself awake at six in the morning.
It took him a few moments to orient himself — yeah, he was in his room; no, Sebastian wasn’t having nightmares, again; yes, that was Sebastian wrapped around him, like a clinging vine, purring warmly and rubbing against him. And with that realisation, Sin was whole new kinds of awake. This, the last time he checked, was not how the world worked.
Sure, they kissed, sometimes — a lot of the time, actually. Sin thought it was awesome to have someone to kiss when he left the apartment, when he got back, and before dinner, before bed, and any other time it occurred to him. But, that was all that was. It made Sebastian smile.
And, yeah, they slept in the same bed, curled up on each other like cats, but that was because Sebastian woke up screaming, without someone there. Sin was pretty sure the neighbours hated every single night he spent out on the town, with someone else. The more Sebastian decompressed, the more frequent and less violent those outbursts had become, so Sin didn’t really feel bad about leaving him alone, some nights. Besides, Sebastian never slept on purpose, anyway.
But, this? This was completely bizarre. Sebastian didn’t have a sex drive, as far as Sin could tell. Had no interest in anyone or anything, didn’t wake up with morning wood, and didn’t leave spots on the sheets. Sebastian had been, until this moment, the most completely asexual person Sin had ever encountered. And here was Admiral Asexual, still entirely unconscious, grinding considerable proof of his latent sexuality against Sin’s leg.
There was only one thing to do.
Sin put his hand in the middle of Sebastian’s back. "Batty? Come on, I need you to wake up."
Sebastian made an inquisitive sound and pressed himself closer to Sin.
"You know, I’d be fine with this, if you’d just wake up, first. Come on, Batty. Open your eyes. I’d let you get away with murder if you just look at me, first." Sin slowly increased the volume of his voice, until he was speaking normally. "Seriously, Batty, I need you to wake up, now."
Sebastian groaned and whined, before finally looking up, smacking the top of his head on Sin’s chin. "Fuck! What?"
"I’m not going to say anything. Just consider things for a minute. It’ll come to you." Sin moved his hand out of the way.
"Nothing hurts. I’m pretty sure I’m not bleeding. If I was screaming, I’d sound funny. Wh — oh. Oh, my god." Sebastian struggled to untangle himself from both Sin and the blankets. "Oh, my god. That doesn’t even — I don’t — I didn’t — I’m so sorry. Oh, my god. I’ll go sleep on the couch."
Sin grabbed Sebastian’s shoulder and sighed, patiently. "Okay, so I’m confused and you’re baffled. We’re on the same page, here. But, seriously? How many times a week do you make fun of me for the same damn thing?"
"This isn’t you. This is me. This doesn’t happen to me. Ever," Sebastian insisted, pushing his hips another few inches back from where Sin lay. "You know that. This isn’t normal."
Sin’s face twisted into a wide, thin-lipped smile, as he tried not to laugh. "It’s normal. It’s the definition of normal. It’s just not you." He paused, to consider that. "So, how does it feel to be John Q. Normal, just some guy?"
"Hideous. Appalling. I don’t think I’ll ever recover," Sebastian replied, drily. "Really. How do you tolerate this?"
"Generally, I get laid. Quite a bit, in fact. Failing that, I make very good use of my hands." Sin draped an arm across Sebastian. "And honestly, you were making pretty good use of me, before I woke you up."
"Look, I’m sorry, all right? You’re the one who always says that whatever I do while I’m sleeping doesn’t matter," Sebastian complained, angrily.
"It doesn’t matter. Neither does this," Sin remarked. "My point, rather, was that I’d prefer that if you choose to use me for that sort of thing, you do it while you’re awake."
"You — I — What?" Sebastian squeaked, on the last word, and slapped a hand over his mouth, in horror.
Sin yawned. "Do I have to remind you that we met because I was hitting on you? I find you incredibly sexy, Batty. Always have. So, if you want to go back to what you were doing, I’m fine with that, as long as you’re clear on the fact that my right hand and I are going to be having quite the conversation of our own, while you do. It’s just one of those decisions you should make while you’re awake, the first time."
"You’re actually serious, aren’t you?" Sebastian asked, stupidly.
"Forgive me for making this point the easy way," Sin sighed and grabbed Sebastian’s hand, pressing it into the blanket above his own proof of point. "Does that feel like I’m kidding?"
Sebastian jerked his hand back, like he’d been burned. "Jesus Christ!"
"Superstar." Sin looked mildly amused. "But, really, you should do something about that, I should do something about this, and we should go back to sleep, because I don’t have to be up for another five hours, and you don’t have class, today. And you should also stop hogging the blanket, because my ass is freezing."
Sebastian rolled to his feet, off the far side of the bed, taking the blanket with him, as he struggled to finish untangling himself from it. Finally he managed, tossing it at the bed, and gazing down at himself, in blank horror. His arms wrapped around his chest in a futile effort to fend off the chill, as he tried to reconcile himself to the open options and pick one.
"Those are my pants, aren’t they? They look good on you." Sin popped the blanket across the bed, shivering as it settled.
"Fuck off, I was going to do laundry today, anyway." The change in subject seemed to bring back Sebastian’s usual brutal disregard for irrelevancies.
"Ah, there’s the man I know and love. Come back to bed, before you freeze to death." Sin turned back the blanket. "Come here, and I’ll warm you up. You can decide what you want to do, comfortably."
Shaking his head, Sebastian snorted, rubbed his face, and got back under the blanket. He rarely argued with practical suggestions. Sin pulled him close and kissed his forehead.
"Kiss me like you did, the first time," Sebastian demanded, tipping his head back.
"That’s not going to be conducive to rational decision-making," Sin warned.
"I don’t want to make a rational decision. I want to make a completely irrational decision, and I want you to help me do it," Sebastian insisted, his body tightening, as he pushed down the urge to run out of the room and sleep on the couch.
"Your wish," Sin said, bending his neck and capturing Sebastian’s mouth.
Even after a year of it, Sebastian was dreadful at kissing — and he knew it. He’d learned some of the simple things, paying attention to Sin, but he was still clumsy, and if he wasn’t paying attention, he drooled, when his lips parted. Luckily, he was short enough that it was more of a choking hazard than actually disgusting. But, this wasn’t the time to concern himself with that. He was doing laundry, later, anyway. It would come out of the pillowcases in the wash. He let Sin hungrily worship his mouth, moaning, softly, as the sense of necessity that had been confined to his crotch and a small corner of his mind raced through his body. He wanted — wasn’t sure what he wanted, but he wanted, dizzyingly. The hot rush made everything that touched his body feel delicious — his clothes, the blanket, his hair, Sin’s lips and tongue.
"Please," Sebastian begged, against Sin’s lips, not certain what he was asking for, but sure that Sin could provide it.
Sin pressed Sebastian as close to his body as he could manage, feeling Sebastian’s rapidly-climbing heart rate echo through his own chest. Pulling Sebastian’s leg up over his hip, Sin thrust their hips together in a slow, hard grind. Sebastian’s back arched, tearing his lips away from the kiss, with a sharp sound of either pain or desperation.
"You okay?" Sin asked, nipping and licking at Sebastian’s neck.
Sebastian made a small sound of confusion, as he attempted to reboot his brain. "Yes. God, yes. Fuck — Sin, please!"
The thought filtered through Sin’s haze of lust that this might actually be the first sexual pleasure of any type that Sebastian had felt, but he couldn’t quite place why that would make sense, so he let the thought drift away, as he revelled in the sensation of Sebastian rutting desperately against him. Sebastian panted and writhed, fingers digging sharply into Sin’s shoulder, heel hooked tightly under Sin’s tailbone, and Sin softly and gently stroked his side, leg, and back, returning the thrusts with definite intent, but no real urgency.
Sebastian whined, a thin sound of frustration, and grabbed Sin’s hand, pushing it down where he wanted it most. Sin caressed the bulge in his hand, certain that, despite the warmth, most of it was probably distortions in the fabric, from the zipper. Those were his pants, after all, and he knew how they moved. He fondled the fabric, teasingly, never with quite enough pressure to be satisfying.
When Sebastian bit his lip, with a demanding groan, Sin gave in and opened the zipper, only to discover that his assumptions had been entirely wrong. That was all Sebastian. Sin stilled, for a moment, trying to reconcile the small, bony body wrapped around him with the heft of the flesh in his hand. The size was instantly sobering, almost to the point of being a turn-off, but it was Sebastian’s body in his hands, and that was enough of a turn-on that he’d take what he was given, as long as he could have it. Sin shivered, slightly, and made a note to buy more lube. He was fairly certain it wouldn’t be necessary any time soon, but if things like this kept happening unexpectedly, he was damned if he’d be caught without.
For a few minutes, Sin just watched Sebastian’s slack-jawed, incoherent writhing. It was, after all, what he’d always wanted to see — paranoid, terrified, bitter, repressed Sebastian coming apart in his hands, blind and pleading with uncontrolled lust. It was everything he’d hoped for, a perfect tableau of unrepentant imperfection — a soft beauty rising from the harsh gruesomeness that always tainted Sebastian’s rough features.
Sin buried his face in Sebastian’s neck, with a low moan, breathing in the smell of sweat thick with sex instead of fear. He switched the hand Sebastian was thrusting into, and ungracefully twisted and pulled at his own sweatpants, until he could take his own flesh into that hand, as well. They ground and twisted against one another, lost in the sticky-warm sensations, until Sin was distracted by the chafing. He poked Sebastian in the forehead, with the hand he wasn’t using.
"Batty, spit in my hand."
Sebastian ignored the sentence for a moment and then froze and blinked. "Do what?"
"Spit in my hand. My mouth’s too dry, or I’d do it," Sin repeated, as though his reasoning were perfectly clear.
Sebastian stared for a long moment, trying to decide if Sin had finally lost his mind, but at last, decided to do as he was told. His cooperation was immediately rewarded, as he felt the liquid spread temptingly over his too-hot skin.
Sin held up his hand. "Again."
Sebastian spit, and Sin made good use of it.
"Bless your sexy mouth," Sin muttered against Sebastian’s lips, before sliding his hand tightly down the slicked skin he held. Sebastian trembled in his arms, gently rolling his hips to match the pace Sin set.
The slow glide lasted all of about thirty seconds, before Sebastian returned to short, fast thrusts, as he sucked at Sin’s lips. Sin slid down into the new rhythm, moaning into Sebastian’s mouth, as he licked his way into those desperate kisses. And then Sebastian went from faintly trembling to vibrating and shuddering, as his body tensed and arched. His jaw locked and his back arched. Small pleading sounds slid out between his teeth, amid the rapid swallowing that seemed to be keeping him from choking on his own spit.
"Batty," Sin whispered, against his neck. "My Sebastian. Don’t let this change you. Don’t leave me, beloved."
And with that almost-regretful plea breathed across his skin, Sebastian lost track of his entire body, in pieces. Every time he thought he’d found one, the one he’d had a moment ago would slip away. He was tired and sticky and vacant, happier than he could remember ever having been. But, he could still feel that hot pleasure — so hot it was nearly pain — in one place, and as that came back, he found Sin tangled up with him, hand still wrapped around them both, thrusting forcefully into the wetness that now covered them both.
"Please — Yes — Fuck — Now, now, now, now," Sin hissed, bent low, so his forehead rested on Sebastian’s shoulder, as his hand and hips served themselves.
"Thank you," Sebastian breathed into Sin’s ear, and with a strangled gasp, Sin let go of himself and hauled Sebastian against him.
Sebastian could feel the pulse against his skin, as warm liquid drizzled down into his open pants, to pool at his hip. For a few moments, Sin panted and clutched at Sebastian’s back, and neither of them said a word. Everything had changed, and neither of them wanted to think about it.
Finally, Sebastian broke the silence. "This is remarkably disgusting. I’m laying in a squishy spot, and I think it’s in my pants. Your pants. The pants I’m wearing."
Sin muttered something unintelligible and stuck his hand into the pants in question, wiping up as much as he could, with his fingers, and then licked his hand clean. "Sorry about that."
"Sin, are you okay?"
"That was great," Sin said, not answering the question, as he rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling. "And, no, I’m not. This is the part where everything gets weird, and then you get annoyed and leave."
"Should I be annoyed? I think I’m pretty content," Sebastian confessed, confused. "Do you want me to leave? You know I’ve never done this. Is that what comes next?"
"No! No, I don’t want you to leave. I don’t ever want you to leave." Sin intertwined his sticky fingers with Sebastian’s sweaty ones. "You’re all that matters to me. I’m afraid you’re going to leave. I’ve watched it happen to other people. But, you’re not like them and neither am I. That shit doesn’t happen to me. And I’ve never met anyone like you, except you, so I really have no idea what the hell you’re going to do."
"I’m going to take off these pants and go back to sleep. I feel like jelly. Fragmented jelly, for all the sense it doesn’t make," Sebastian remarked, in an almost-parody of his usually-sensible state. "If that’s okay with you…"
"I can work with that." Sin stretched and pulled his own pants back up, while he waited for Sebastian to finish kicking the damp jeans to the bottom of the bed, before they tangled around each other, again. "Hey, I love you, by the way. Just in case I didn’t mention it, this week."
"I know you do. I’m sorry." Sebastian smiled mournfully. "One of these days, I’ll understand, and then I’ll tell you what I mean. But, right now, you have just made me very happy. I think that’s happy. I could be wrong. It’s definitely relaxed — more relaxed than I think I’ve ever been. Goddamn, Sin, you’re so good to me, I just feel guilty."
"And I keep thinking I’m taking advantage of you, so I’m guilty, too. We can be happily guilty, together," Sin joked. "And how are you not sure if that’s happy? I think that’s a pretty recognisable one, yeah?"
"What I know as happy isn’t this. It feels sick and weak next to this. This is like staring into the sun, and I’m a little scared it’s going to ruin my perceptions," Sebastian admitted. "I can’t feel my left hand, and I just don’t care. I’ve never felt like this, and it’s a little freaky."
"So, like jerking off, but moreso."
"I wouldn’t know. I wasn’t kidding about that. I woke up with jizz on me a couple times, when I was fifteen, but I don’t have that problem. Non-reactive anatomy. Disinterested psychology. I have enough other shit to worry about, you know?"
Sin looked mildly horrified. "I never — I can’t imagine. I mean, we all went through it, even those self-righteous shitheads in the Catholic house. It’s practically an essential truth of the human male."
"C’mon, Sin, when’s the last time you mistook me for human?" Sebastian yawned.
"Okay, you might have me, there." Sin nuzzled the top of Sebastian’s head. "Still, that was — You know I do shit like this three nights a week, and six times on weekends. That was heart-stopping. It was better than I could have imagined, when I first saw you. I think you stole my soul."
"I didn’t think you had a soul," Sebastian reminded him. "But, I’ll tell you what. When we actually make it out of bed, I’ll give it back with your tea."
"Mmm, if it’s all the same to you, I’d rather steal it back, when I get home from work," Sin purred.
"If you think you can make me do that again, you’re welcome to try." Sebastian snorted. "Once is a disturbance in the force. Twice is time for me to reconsider my lifestyle."
Sin giggled inanely, until he yawned. "Sleep now. Disturbing the force later."
Sebastian snuggled closer. "Mmm."