Apr 052015
 

Title: Rhapsody In Ass Major
Co-Conspirator: TumblrMaverikLoki
Fandom: Dragon Age
Characters: Cormac Hawke , Artemis Hawke , Anton Hawke , Bethany Hawke , Carver Hawke , Leandra Amell , Gamlen Amell , Anders , Aveline , Cullen , Donnic , Fenris , Isabela , Merrill , Sebastian , Varric , Ella , Jethann , Keran , Meredith Stannard , Orana , Orsino , Raleigh Samson , Serendipity , Tallis , Varania , Theron Mahariel , Kallian Tabris , Alim Surana , Natia Brosca , Nathaniel Howe , Gytha , Zevran Arainai , Cassandra Pentaghast, 
Rating: E (L3 N4 S4 V3 D1)
Warnings: Smiting, buggery, zero relationship skills, gesticulating with ham, gesticulating with dildoes, is everyone in this fic bisexual?, we did bad shit to canon, butts. did I mention butts? because butts., sass & class & ass, wow damn you can say that in Latin, non-explicit het, non-explicit femslash, terribly explicit slash
Notes: DA2 AU in which both Carver and Bethany survive, and there are three older Hawke siblings. And all of them are Purple. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll want to set Fenris on fire a couple times. Nobody knows what the fuck they're doing, but they'll do it anyway! At least people usually know who the fuck they're doing… Except that one time. Starts cracky, but gets semi-serious, decently quickly. Never gets entirely serious, because hello, Purple Hawke does not 'serious'. Or at least three of them don't all at once. IT'S A GODDAMN ROMANCE. JUST READ IT.

"Why does everyone keep saying 'ass'?" said either Anton or the pile of blankets in his shape.

(Fucking AO3 just deleted the 33 chapters of this that we posted in the last month. And now I'm posting it here, JUST IN CASE JESUS FUCKING CHRIST. This master post will take on new chapters as I manage to post them, so it should stack up pretty quick over the next day or two.)

Update: This master post will include the entire series. Links to AO3 for the parts I didn't have any part in writing.
Continue reading »

Mar 272015
 

Title: A Touch of Mint
Fandom: Dragon Age/Rhapsody in Ass Major
Characters: Artemis
Rating: G- (L0 N1 S0 V0 D0)
Warnings: That's an awful lot of leg, questionable lighting
Notes: Yes, something like that corset does appear in Rhapsody. Yes, on Artemis. Yes, with matching knickers, and they do end up somewhere rather entertaining. No, I'm not quite sure what the fuck he's doing up Sundermount in a corset, but I liked the sunset, so fuck off.
Continue reading »

Mar 262015
 

Title: Princess Artie
Fandom: Dragon Age/Rhapsody in Ass Major
Characters: Artemis
Rating: G (L0 N0 S0 V0 D0)
Warnings: Good looking dude in a dress of questionable vintage.
Notes: So, maverikloki and I got into a godshitting silly-ass discussion this morning, during which I might have threatened 'Disney Princess Artemis Hawke'. *coughs* Man, I can't even claim to have been drunk, for this. Just hungry and exhausted.
Continue reading »

Mar 222015
 

Title: The Brothers Hawke
Fandom: Dragon Age
Characters: Artemis Hawke , Cormac Hawke , Anton Hawke
Rating: M (L0 N3 S0 V0 D0)
Warnings: Nude dudes
Notes: CANON ARTS FOR RHAPSODY? *gasp* Yeah, so, I was trying to kickstart my art vibe again, so I could finish these commissions. This happened. Reminder that Rhapsody has three of Hawke, all of them Purple. Jokes about Malcolm Hawke running out of toner to the left, please.
Continue reading »

Mar 122015
 

Title: The First Son
Fandom: Dragon Age
Characters: Cormac Hawke , Malcolm Hawke
Rating: M (L1 N0 S0 V3 D0)
Warnings: Imploding templar.
Notes: Sort of a prequel to Rhapsody in Ass Major, so there are three of Hawke. Warning for gruesome but not terribly explicit application of Crushing Prison. Malcolm Hawke had always expected one of his children would be a mage. It was nearly inescapable, between Leandra's family and himself. But, he hadn't expected this.
Continue reading »

Mar 092015
 

Title: 5+1: The Flagpole
Fandom: Dragon Age
Characters: Anders ♂, Hawke ♂, Karl ♂, Nathaniel ♂, Isabela ♀
Rating: E (L2 N4 S3 V0 D1)
Warnings: Dick jokes, smut, prostitution
Notes: Anders isn't just well-hung, he's outrageously hung, and it's actually a problem. (This started as a joke in Rhapsody, and then it got out of hand.)
Continue reading »