[ Master Post ]
Title: Rhapsody in Ass Major – Chapter 186
Co-Conspirator: 
MaverikLoki
Fandom: Dragon Age
Characters: Cormac Hawke ♂, Artemis Hawke ♂, Anton Hawke ♂, Anders ♂, Cullen ♂, Donnic ♂, Fenris ♂, Isabela ♀, Merrill ♀, Varric ♂
Rating: T (L2 N0 S1 V0 D1)
Warnings: Hawkeward Hawke-on-Hawke action, Anders is not ok
Notes: Spin the bottle continues out into more interesting kisses.
Artemis cleared his throat, a blush spilled across his cheeks, up to the tips of his ears. He offered Cormac a smirk and said, "Well, what do you say, brother-dear?"
"Shall we give them a show, like we did for the Orlesians?" Cormac's cheeks darkened and his eyes squinted shut. He gave Artie a pained grin and pressed his thumb to his forehead just long enough for a quick, disbelieving laugh. "Come here, you fucking drunkard, and give Izzy something to think about."
Anders kept a hand over his mouth and watched them, inquisitively, trying to look as if he hadn't seen this before — at least until he remembered the party at which he very likely should have ensured Artie remained much less drunk than he'd gotten.
Cullen looked at Donnic. Donnic looked at Cullen. The two of them shrugged, and Cullen tried very hard not to think of how many Orlesians he might have traumatised, that one night, with Artemis.
"Doooon't," Anton whined. "The two of you have been nauseating since I was old enough to walk. Probably before that, too, but I don't remember."
"You know we just do it to gross you out, right, Anton?" Cormac grinned across the table at his other brother.
"That just gives me more incentive," Artemis agreed, nodding. He turned back to Cormac, hoping everyone believed his nervous smile was because this wasn't something they did — or at least not often — and not because they were going to do this in front of everyone.
Artie slid a hand behind Cormac's head and leaned in. It was a simple kiss, at first, a brush of lips, but then Artemis dived back in, and the kiss turned heated.
"Oh my," squeaked Merrill, barely audible under Anton's groan of, "Oh, ew, stop!"
"Easy, Rivaini," Varric said, patting Isabela's shoulder. She looked positively gleeful, and she hadn't blinked since Artie had leaned in.
"Varric, this is magical," she breathed, clutching the table.
Fenris sipped his drink and watched out of the corner of his eye, trying to look disinterested, at least until Anders burst out laughing. Then he leaned forward, resting his elbow on the table and his nose on the edge of his fingers, trying to cover the smile he could no longer keep off his face.
Anders cackled and applauded, as if this were the funniest thing he'd seen in weeks. Which, to be fair, Anton's reaction might have been. "Andraste's flaming knickers, the two of you are just… I'm still not marrying you, Cormac, but if there were ever something that made me think twice about it…" He waved one hand in their direction and patted the table for his tea, with the other, laughing so hard he couldn't quite get his eyes open.
"You know, when I was a recruit, some of the lads and I would do things like that, just to gross each other out," Cullen admitted. "Really learned to put on a performance, after a while."
Cormac broke the kiss at last, bending his back to bring himself down even shorter than his brother, as he gazed up in melodramatic astonishment. "Oh, Maker!" His voice was straight from an Antivan comedy. "I burn for you! Make love to me at once, you b— beautiful man," he choked out the last words, before the laughter took him, too.
Artemis stifled his own honking laughter against Cormac's shoulder. He sat back and tried to respond with something equally theatrical, only to see the look on Cormac's face, which sent him cackling all over again.
"I am going to have so many nightmares," Anton muttered, one hand propping up his cheek and the other pouring alcohol down his throat.
"Your nightmares are my wet dreams," Isabela replied, her grin wide enough to split her face.
Artie wiped tears of laughter from his eyes and squeezed Cormac's thigh under the table. He looked around and realised that, with the addition of Merrill, he'd now kissed more people at this table than he hadn't. "Oh Maker," he wheezed. He thunked the bottle onto the table in front of Cormac. "Here. It's your turn, you hairy slut." He made a show of wiping his mouth and taking another swig of his drink.
Cormac spit on the floor beside his seat and rinsed his mouth out with Anders's tea. After a bit more wheezing and wiping his eyes, he weighed the bottle in his hand, set it on the table, and spun it again. "Creators take mercy on a man like me!" he pleaded, eyes raised to the ceiling.
The bottle settled on Anders, for an unusual three hits in a row, on the same side of the table.
"Oh, ah…" Anders looked a little surprised, and tried to go for pleasantly surprised, but he grabbed Cormac's hand under the table.
"Well, shit." Cormac's eyes lingered on the bottle.
"Cheater!" Anton insisted, jabbing a finger at Cormac.
"Oh, I'm sorry, did you want me to kiss you again?" Cormac shot back, with a little more venom than usual. His eyes finally turned to Anders, a subtly inquisitive look on his face. Every once in a while, just between the two of them was one thing. Here, in front of everyone, was something else. Which wasn't to say he hadn't shut Justice up with his tongue in front of everyone on more that ten occasions, but Justice, not Anders.
"Oh, hurry up, you two," Donnic sighed. "It's not like you don't do it all the time, anyway." He'd rather been enjoying Cormac's responses, so far, and had been hoping for another good laugh with this spin.
Artemis leaned forward in his chair, partly to reach for the rum but mostly to get a good look at Anders's face. Anders didn't look panicked, which was good, but he looked less thrilled than the rest of the table probably expected.
"You know, we never did finish that round of Wicked Grace," he suggested idly, ignoring Isabela's booing and giving Anders an out if he wanted one. But Anders shook his head.
"We all know Fenris was going to win that one, anyway," Anders said, conjuring a smile.
"Damn right," Fenris muttered.
Anders's smile eased, turned more genuine as he looked back at Cormac. He could do this. "It's not like we don't do it all the time, anyway," Anders repeated Donnic's words wryly. Before either of them could think better of it, he leaned in and pressed his lips to Cormac's.
Cormac reached up to cup Anders's cheek, tipping his head up, so the kiss would take longer to break. "Var enansal," he whispered, as Anders pulled away, knowing there was only one person at the table who would understand, and that it wasn't Anders, sadly. Still, he occasionally spoke Elvish as a suggestion to ask him about something, later.
The next smile from Anders was understated, as were the words that followed. "I should pass."
"Oh, don't be like that, Sparklefingers!" Isabela was quick to call out. "You're the one who keeps telling us how much kissing went on at Kinloch Hold! Show us your skills!"
Cormac looked like he might warn her off, but Anders squeezed his thigh, under the table, looking for the words he wanted, and Cullen looked extremely uncomfortable watching the two of them. He'd always thought Anders was easy, and the mage never denied it, but looking at this… He had a terrible feeling he knew what he was seeing.
"I thought that was very sweet!" Merrill chimed in from the far and of the table. "You don't have to be embarrassed to be in love, you know!"
Cormac laughed, and Anders followed him down, clutching the bottle. "Merrill, sweetie, we're not in love," Cormac was quick to say. "He's part of the family, just like you. We're just having a little more fun with it. Izzy and I have fun, too."
"He's right," Anders said, after a bit. "He's one of my dearest friends, but we're not… it's not like that."
Cormac put his hand around the neck of the bottle. "Come on, if you're not spinning, give it to someone who will."
"Didn't say that," Anders grumbled, pulling the bottle back.
"Yes, you did!" Cormac pointed out.
"Just let the man spin, if he wishes it," Fenris put in.
Anders took a deep breath and spun the bottle. He could do this. Cormac had kissed Fenris, and he could do this. And then the bottle stopped, and Anders froze, a moderately dismayed look on his face. "Cullen?"
And, really, Cullen knew the bottle would land on him eventually. Probability was against him. He just hadn't expected Anders. "That's… er." He floundered, looking at Anton for help, but Anton just smiled sweetly and kept on drinking. "I mean… you don't… have to?"
"Oh, come on, those are the rules!" Isabela whined. "Now, Ser Cullen. Don't tell me you haven't made-out with any mages in your day."
Artie hid his face and the strangled noise that wanted to come out of his throat behind his tankard. Take a long drink. Don't make eye-contact with Cullen or Isabela. Or anyone. Fenris tightened his arm around Artie's waist.
Cullen hadn't quite managed to stutter out a reply to that while Izzy cooed at how red his cheeks looked. "T-That's… it was i-inappropriate to…"
"Ignore her, Cullen," Anders said, sounding more confident than he felt as he rounded the table.
Cullen stood up and promptly backed into his chair, stumbling into Anton, who patted his hip, reassuringly. "Go get 'im, Captain. Show him what a lucky man I am."
Cullen sputtered and looked back and forth between Anton and Anders, until Anders's hand came to rest on the back of his neck, and he swallowed hard.
"Cullen," Anders said, quietly, "look at me. You all right?"
Cullen nodded, reassuring himself that kissing Mage-Wardens was not the same as kissing other mages, and that he wasn't violating any basic rules of conduct. "I, er… All yours, I guess… For the moment."
"Relax," Anders said, resting his forehead on Cullen's. It was a bit of distance, really, but so was Cormac. He kissed Cullen gently, at first, a soft sound, a firm press of lips, and then he caught Cullen's lip in his teeth and licked at it, sucked at it.
One of Cullen's hands darted up to clutch at Anders's coat, as a small sound coiled in his throat. He tried to forget that he'd seen Anders naked, years before. Tried to forget the scars he knew were there, as the mage kissed him warmly and thoroughly, a few small sounds of encouragement sneaking in under the wet sounds of lips and tongues.
Eventually, Anders drew slowly back, Cullen's lip sliding from between his teeth with one last flick of tongue. Cullen whimpered, before he could get a grip on himself and loose his grip on Anders.
"They were right about you," Cullen breathed. "You are dangerous."
Anders leaned in closer, to whisper in Cullen's ear. "They were right about me. I'm always good for it." He stood and watched Cullen's face for a moment, before he turned and walked back around the table, with a quiet elegance he rarely bothered to affect.
