[ Sky – Master Post ]
Title: Daily Bread
Characters: Arkady, Baron, fangirls
Warnings: Expletives, mild violence, attempted molestation
Notes: Arkady vs. fangirls. So, after talking to FritzLindemann about crazy drunk girls, last night, I realised that there was a story that needed telling… Arkady really just wanted a plate of fries.
Arkady had this thing about french fries. It didn’t matter where they were, if he woke up in the middle of the night, he was going out for fries — and not that cheap fast-food shit. Real diner fries. Sometimes, this involved harassing the desk clerk and calling a cab, but tonight, he was lucky. The hotel’s diner was open all night. And that was about where his luck ended.
He was slumped in the booth, with his feet up on the other side, licking fry-grease and ketchup off his fingers, when two girls sat down. They giggled and batted their eyes at him. He raised an eyebrow and reached for his napkin.
"Do I know you?" he asked, assuming that he didn’t. This had been going on since high school, and it had only gotten worse, since he’d gotten famous.
"No, but we know you!" one girl giggled.
"You’re Ebony Arkady!" the other one announced, as though it were some huge secret, and she tucked her feet under her, on the other side of the table.
Honestly, he’d have been better off if it was a secret. "Yeah, that’s me. You mind? I’m trying to have breakfast. … No, wait… dinner… Fuck. I don’t know. I’m eating. Fuck off."
"We could make that a whole lot more fun," the first girl warbled, in a way that was probably supposed to be sexy.
"No, you can’t. These are hot, greasy, salted fries. They are fantastic." His voice dropped to an almost sexual purr, and he smiled predatorily at girl number one. If he couldn’t get rid of them, he’d play not-nice. "I doubt you could make me enjoy them more."
"Oh, my god!" the second girl butted in. "What are you, a fag?"
"No, Tessa, I told you. He’s with Betty Noir. Severen’s the fag."
"Ladies, let me reassure you that if I were sticking my dick in Betty, the last place I would be is right here. But, it’s never going to happen." He took a sip of coffee. "And if I were a fag, I’d be back in my room banging Severen through the floor. But, that is also never going to happen. We’re in a band. You don’t fuck people you’re in a band with. That makes you stop being in a band. What the fuck do they teach you in school, these days?"
"We don’t go to school. It’s boring," girl two — Tessa — declared.
"You should. You might learn something about appropriate behaviour." Good god, he sounded like Severen. When the hell had that happened? Well, grab a good thing and run with it, he supposed. "In fact, you might even learn that while ‘fuck’ is the verb you’re seeking, when it’s followed by ‘off’, it’s a pretty good indication that it won’t be happening to you."
Girl one laughed. "Oh, you’re funny!"
Arkady could feel his face twitch. He stuffed a few more fries in his mouth, just to keep his hands occupied. Fortunately, it was around this time that Baron stumbled in, drunk.
"Betty!" Baron called out, bouncing over to the table. "Oh. Oh, shit. Sorry, Ev— Ebony."
Arkady pressed a wrist against his eye. "Betty? Seriously, man? How drunk are you?"
"I have no idea," Baron declared, with an enormous grin. "Hello, ladies. Has Master Arkady been treating you well, tonight? — Shit, Ebony, move your damn feet, so she can move over and I can sit down."
With a mildly irate grumble, Arkady did just that, while the girls burbled about how he was so gorgeous and funny. "I swear to god, Baron, I came out for a plate of fries."
Baron just winked and nodded. "So, you clearly know my friend, here, but I don’t know if you’d know me without all my makeup. I’m not nearly so recognisable."
The girls refocused, like hungry piranhas, and Arkady squeezed his eyes shut and mouthed ‘thank you’ across the table.
"Isn’t that Lir?" Tessa postulated.
The other girl rolled her eyes. "No, Lir’s hair is brown. It’s Baron von Nocturne… And we are so pleased to meet you," she gushed.
Unlike Arkady, Baron lived for moments like these. Fangirls were his idea of a good time — and he really was the only one of them to do that more than twice. And Arkady still insisted that he’d been too drunk to see, that second time, which was probably true, since he’d apparently groped Severen, before he actually got his hands on a girl. He didn’t remember any of it, but Betty swore it was the truth.
"So, you two know me, but I don’t know you…" Baron raised an eyebrow and smiled at the girls.
"You can get to know us," girl number one offered.
Tessa threw a napkin at her, and Arkady covered his coffee, just in time for it to bounce off his hand. "He means our names, stupid. I’m Tessa, and that’s Corrine. She’s not too bright, sometimes."
"I’m too drunk for brains," Baron confessed, not unkindly, and Arkady snickered around a mouthful of fries.
"And he’s not that bright when he’s not drunk — oh, wait. Hey, Baron, have you ever not been drunk, in my presence?" Arkady laughed.
"I dunno, there was that one show at Mitteran’s. I might’ve been sober. I think I was only seventeen." Baron draped an arm across the back of the booth, hoping the attention stayed on him, now that Arkady had started talking, again.
"I think you were born drunk." Arkady shook his head.
"Severen can tell you I wasn’t! He was —" Baron’s eyes got huge as he realised what he’d been about to say. "He’s seen me sober, even if you haven’t."
Arkady kicked him under the table. Baron just nodded. He deserved it.
"So, Cerise —"
"Corrine, did you come here hoping to bag my friend?" Baron really did abandon tact, at times.
The girl blushed. "No, we came here for coffee. I didn’t see him until after we got here."
She squeezed her hand between Arkady’s legs and grabbed his thigh. Arkady gave Baron a panicked look, that changed quickly into an irate grimace.
Baron cut him off, before the shouting could begin. "Well, then, today might be your lucky day. Instead of one of the ‘Dolls, you got to meet two. And all for the price of a cup of coffee."
Tessa curled up around him, draping one leg over his, as Baron’s arm moved from the booth back to her shoulders. "We are pretty lucky, aren’t we?"
Arkady’s ears pulled back suddenly, and his eyes shot wide. "You. Corrine," he snarled her name.
She turned and smiled heatedly at him.
"Tell me the origins of my name. Right now. I’ll even take just a definition, if that’s what you’ve got," Arkady demanded.
Baron covered his mouth to stop the mad cackles from leaking out.
"I don’t know! Why would I know that?" Corrine sounded terribly confused.
"You are way the fuck too stupid to have your hand in my pants. Stop touching me. I think my fries are getting cold."
"Well, your fries are cold, but we’re still hot!"
Baron covered one of Tessa’s ears with one hand, and one of his own ears, with the other. "Your friend doesn’t know when to shut up, does she?"
Arkady moved like liquid lightning, turning in his seat and kicking Corrine out of the booth. He pulled himself to his feet, standing on the edge of the booth and glaring down at her, arms wide in frustration. "No," he shouted, "No, you are not hot. Smart chicks are hot. Chicks smarter than me are really sexy. Chicks prettier than me are sexy, too. Neither of these things are common, but the second’s a whole lot rarer than the first, and you? You do not make the list."
He dropped back down, crossing his legs along the seat and slumping against the window. "I know you’ve got one, for the night, Baron, but if you want the stupid one, too, you can have her."
Corrine just sat on the floor, staring in shock.
"Yeah, I’ll take her, if she wants to play. She really was into you, though," Baron said, with a sigh, uncovering his and Tessa’s ears.
Tessa blinked a few times and held onto Baron, tightly.
"He really is a dick, you know, and not the kind that gets happy if you stroke it. Me, on the other hand? I’m just easy." Baron pulled Tessa into his lap and stood up, holding her. "You ladies want to blow this joint? And then maybe take up blowing and joints, somewhere else?"
Tessa giggled and stretched out a hand to Corrine. "Come on, it’ll be fun!"
Still shaken, Corrine nodded and got up to follow Baron and her friend.
"Second best, Baron," Arkady called after them. "I still win this round."
"Bullshit," Baron called back. "She got her hand down your pants. I win."
Arkady flicked his hand, irritatedly, and resigned himself to ordering more fries. "Take two," he said to the waitress. "Sorry about that."
"We’re a family establishment, not a place to establish a family," she said, topping off his coffee. "I don’t think you overreacted, honey. I’d have broken her wrist. Actually, I think Rob took pictures. If you want copies, I can send ’em somewhere for you."
"Thanks, yeah. Send ’em to our publicist." He scratched out the address for Betty’s post box on a napkin, in eyeliner. "And can I get some more fries, please? Without the crazies, this time?"
The waitress laughed. "I don’t know about that, young man. I can certainly get the fries, but you may be on your own with the girls."
"Why are all the nice chicks twenty years older than me?" he joked, and she patted him on the shoulder and headed for the back.
"And married, too! Don’t forget married!" she called back.