Fandom: ST XI
Characters: Kirk, Spock
Warnings: An expletive.
Notes: DK finally pushed my last button on this one. I had to bust out some crack in which Spock misuses the English language in a painful fashion, to add a more human feel to his words.
"Captain, I object. In this instance, you are behaving like a buttsatchel." Spock stood stiffly at attention, as Kirk continued to shout at Scotty over the comm. "Mr. Scott is doing his best to repair the problem, and if he continues to try to listen to you, while he does so, it is likely to go wholly amiss."
Kirk continued his rant for a moment, until Spock’s words sank in. "Spock? What did you just call me?"
"A ‘buttsatchel’, Captain. Have I used the wrong word?" Spock raised an eyebrow, as Kirk turned in his chair to look at him. "Mr. Sulu has been attempting to teach me to speak in a more human manner, and suggested that to express displeasure, I might use epithets composed of things to be worn and body parts not to wear them on."
"Spock? For future reference?" Kirk tried desperately to suppress the horrified cackle building in his chest. "The word you want is ‘asshat’."