Title: The Weight of Twenty-five Years [part 4]
Fandom: Harry Potter
Characters: Rodolphus Lestrange/Severus Snape
Warnings: Smut, flashbacks, angst
Notes: Yeah, I was going to fluff part three for proper release, but in the end, I decided just to leave it at that relatively natural pausing point. Here we get some flashback angst about Lily, and some more about Lucius, and Severus learns something he probably could have done without.
Severus had never felt so warm, so wanted. It was like returning to a home he’d forgotten he had. His hands slid over Roddy’s back, pulling the man even more tightly against him. This, then, was what love was meant to be — and he’d been right all along; he had loved Lily, but unlike Roddy, she’d never gotten over the fear of him. That was the real difference, he thought, he had nearly no secrets from Roddy, and the man still loved him without fear. It wasn’t simple — they’d fought, at times it had even come to blows, but under it all, there was that bond. And for a very long time, the bond had been Roddy’s life. Now, the tables were turned, and everything had fallen away, but still they came together as they always had.
He realised he was distracted, seconds after it occurred to Roddy. "Am I not distracting enough, that you’ve got to wander back into your dreams? I thought you were falling asleep, for a few seconds, there," Roddy teased.
"No, I’d been distracted from that thought so long, it couldn’t be ignored a moment more. And now that it’s sorted, I hope it was the last of those points, for the evening." Sev rolled his eyes, trying to look more annoyed than he felt.
"Well, let me put some other points in your head," Roddy purred, flipping his hair back over his shoulder to lean closer to Sev’s ear. "I never minded that you owned me, when you did. You never asked anything of me; you kept me safe. And now that I’m free of you, I want nothing more than to have you claim me with your eyes wide open. A different stake, this time. I want you to turn me like Lucky used to, when I wanted to stop thinking of you. You wouldn’t have seen the way it went, over that fence, behind the pub, but he wouldn’t stop until it was your name I screamed, instead of his."
Severus turned colours. "I know. I was there. Only the once, though."
"You —" Roddy sputtered witlessly for a few moments. "I don’t — We didn’t — I never meant you to see that."
"I know. You’d never do that to me, intentionally." Sev stroked the curve of Roddy’s lower back. "I went to apologise, and came back with an eyeful. I remember how broken you looked. You put on a good show for Lucky, but he couldn’t see your face, like I could."
"That was the night you went home without us, wasn’t it. We came back in to the note on the napkin — ‘Sorry. Early morning.'" Roddy moved, to look at Sev’s face, but Sev held him still. "You left because you saw us."
"I left because I couldn’t look at you. I just remember the last of it, so clearly. Lucky said something cruel — I couldn’t hear it, but I know his voice. And then, a few minutes later, you were screaming against the fence, with your face between your hands, and he just kept on. And then I watched your knees go, and he was holding you up, and I realised you were pleading with him for more, but it was my name on your lips." His hands were cold, and they grew colder against Roddy’s back as he spoke. "I had to go. I didn’t know what to do with any of it. Spent three days in bed."
"For the record, when you go that long, it really, really starts to hurt. That’s all the screaming was — I was doing it to myself. Just couldn’t get done." Roddy’s voice was light and slightly apologetic. "I can only imagine what it must have looked like to you. And then to find me like you did in ’79. Blood and bones, but I’m sorry."
"The more you talk, the less I understand why you keep having sex." Sev rubbed his nose against Roddy’s shoulder, trying to warm his face a bit. "You do something that gives you screaming pains for fun? I’m not seeing the appeal."
"It’s not all screaming, and not all the screaming is bad, it’s not." Roddy twisted around to loosen Sev’s grip, and looked down at him. "I’ll show you what the good kind of screaming looks like, if you’ll stop getting distracted by things that are over and done."
"Well, you are supposed to be my distraction, tonight, and it has all been about you…" A half-smile crept across Sev’s face.
"You say the sweetest things, you old crotchet." Roddy nuzzled Sev’s nose. "But, I think I was about to invite you to violate your lifelong celibacy, before you got me after the old pub nights."
There was something in the phrasing that hit Sev hard. He felt the crackling rush race through his body, stirring his cock and leaving his fingers and toes with an electrified tingle. He looked up at Roddy, heated surprise etched into his face.
"I want you." His voice resonated with awe. "Right now."
A shiver ran down Roddy’s spine, and his back arched. "Merlin’s own…" he muttered. "Say it again, Severus. Say it, and show me you mean it."
Sev moved one hand, gently tracing the curve of Roddy’s ribs, waist, hip… Finally, his hand settled, cupping Roddy’s ass.
"I want you. Now." His fingers tightened, pressing hard into Roddy’s skin. "I want you, like I’ve never wanted anything in my life."
Roddy groaned and twisted prettily, displaying his neck, raising his ass just a little higher. A moment later, good sense caught up with him, and he leaned over the side of the bed. "You, sir, are the one who knocked the blankets off, and now, thank you much, that bottle I keep beside the bed has rolled off to Auntie’s gods know where."
Severus blinked, allowing the droll flavour of the moment to collect, before he put out his hand. "Accio Roddy’s bedside bottle."
Rolling his eyes, Roddy snatched the bottle as soon as it touched Sev’s palm. "Show-off."
"Just because I … I…" Sev trailed off, mid-sentence, as Roddy’s slicked hand closed around his cock.
"Is that all it takes to shut you up? Sure I should have tried it years ago." Roddy set the bottle on the floor, again, and tossed the blankets to the other side of the bed.
Severus couldn’t even manage to look sulky, as Roddy’s hand slid over the one part of his body that could be called anything but cold. It was so good — so damnably perfect — that all of his senses were waiting for the other shoe to drop. That was the way it played, when he was dead. Roddy would come to him, kiss him and touch him, and then he’d be full of Bella’s hot hands, tearing his insides out. But, this time, Roddy had promised he was awake. This time, Roddy’s hands hadn’t faded away, and the way those warm fingers felt on him was even better than he’d dreamed.
Sev touched himself for a moment, slicking his own fingertips, before he reached out to run a finger down the length of Roddy’s cock. The move was unexpected, and Roddy arched and moaned, spreading his knees farther, lowering his hips until he nearly touched his own hand. A bead of translucent liquid formed and fell, only to be caught on a finger of Sev’s dry hand. He held it up, gazing at it for a moment, before he licked his finger clean.
"I had always wondered, and now I know. That’s a hideous texture." Sev looked slightly dismayed, and Roddy just laughed. "The taste isn’t bad, though."
Roddy had turned red, fighting down the worst of the bout of sheer hysterical laughter that threatened to overcome him. "One of these days, Sev, I’m going to die laughing, and it’s going to be your fault, it is."