May 142009
 

Title: Lip Gloss Lads (part 3)
Fandom: Naruto
Characters: Anko, Shizune
Rating: T
Warnings: None for this chapter!
Notes: Cracky crack is crackier than ever. Now, we have some flavours! (And, yes, I’ll take suggestions from any interested kunoichi, here!)


In the end, Anko had photos of just about all the shinobi she ever wanted to see (except Raidou), and several she’d sincerely hoped not to. Now, they just needed to match the shinobi to the colours and flavours Shizune had mixed together. The more she thought on it, the less she wanted to know what Shizune had told Tsunade about where all the salve supplies were going, for the week.

But, still… there would be no orange-flavoured Raidou, and this, Anko would not abide. But, that was something to work on later. That would take some extra thinking and a whole lot of shochu.

"Shizune! If we do Izumo in mint, do we put Kotetsu in chocolate?"

"Chocolate? Oh, dear," Shizune looked down the list of flavours. "I’m not sure we have a chocolate. But, I know Genma gets melon, because otherwise he’ll kill us in our sleep."

"Oh, really?" Anko’s eyebrows shot up. "Did you, now? With him? Lucky girl!"

"Shut up!" Shizune groaned. "It was a long time ago! But, yes. Melon. Or, we’re going to die horribly."

"Does Ibiki get peach, or are we saving that for Iruka?" Anko held up two photos.

"Iruka’s getting strawberry, I thought. And then, Kakashi gets kiwi." Shizune made some more notes. "But, Ibiki in peach? Are you sure?"

"Girls who like slabs of scars tend to go for the understated flavours, I’ve noticed." Anko grinned. "Actually, I got a couple of crazy ANBU girls drunk and asked them what they thought."

"Never mind Genma, we’re going to die, anyway." Shizune shook her head and kept writing.

"Who gets plum? ‘Cause it ain’t Inoichi. I think he’s unquestionably vanilla." Anko held up a photo of Inoichi wearing nothing but a white lily in his hair.

"Oh, definitely. But, plum…" Shizune leaned over the table to sort through the photos. "You know, I’d say Hayate, but he’s not here."

Anko sputtered and gaped. "Hayate? Hayate!? Are you… but… but… skin and bones!"

"You wanted Raidou, so I don’t want to hear it." Shizune looked slightly smug.

"That’s different!" Anko protested, vehemently. "And I’ll get Raidou. You don’t stand a chance."

Shizune smiled, mysteriously. "We’ll see."

The following week, the first five Lip Gloss Lads were released — Chocolate Kotetsu, Minty Izumo, Strawberry Iruka, Kiwi Kakashi, and Melon Genma. Kunoichi throughout Konoha surreptitiously picked them up in the few shops that offered them — shops that no man in his right mind would ever set foot in. Izumo was far more popular than he’d ever have anticipated, but Genma gave good competition. Of the first five, though, Iruka swiftly shot into the lead. Anko attributed it to his blush and the Birth of Venus pose. He’d kept his gloves, and they were a perfect highlight to his graceful modesty.

But, still, Anko had no photos of Raidou, nor did Shizune have them of Hayate.