Title: Lip Gloss Lads (part 1)
Characters: Anko, Shizune
Warnings: None, yet.
Notes: For Nobiki-senpai. Because she asked.
Shizune woke, confused, to the sound of tapping at the window. Who in the hell… she wondered, pulling back the drape. Oh, dear.
Anko was perched on a kunai, jutting from the wall beside the window, and she had a wicked gleam in her eye. Exactly the sort of thing Shizune did not want to see, first thing in the morning, any morning. With a sigh, Shizune pulled the window open.
"Anko, what are you doing, here?" Shizune wasn’t sure she wanted to know, but it seemed like a good place to start.
"I found this pen — it’s Kakashi’s — and it gave me an idea." Anko pulled a pen from her coat pocket and passed it to Shizune. "When you tilt it, her bikini falls off."
Shizune looked up at Anko’s wicked grin, and said the least provocative thing she could think of. "So, what, you think we should go to the beach?"
Anko hopped onto the windowsill. "No! I think we should do something nice for our fellow kunoichi. I think we should make these with our noble shinobi on them, in not-so-noble conditions."
"But, Kakashi’s a pervert!" Shizune gargled, choking on her own mortification. "It’s fine for him to pull out a pen like this! But — but—"
"Ah, yeah, maybe it shouldn’t be something we’d use so much in public." Anko scratched her head and stared at the ceiling. "I got it. Lip gloss. We’ll put them on the tube." She began to snicker, and made finger quotes in the air. "The only thing I need a man for is my chapped lips."
Shizune blushed and covered her eyes with both hands. "You’re insane, Anko." But, at the same time, she admitted to herself, you know you’d collect them. Naked shinobi lip gloss does have a certain appeal… "Fine," she conceded, at last, "but only if they’re medicated and tinted."
"You just want a luscious light pink Kakashi one," Anko joked, poking Shizune in the shoulder.
"What?! I — No! Not—! Never—!" Shizune continued to splutter, and Anko smirked.
"Of course not, dear," Anko consoled, leaning forward to touch her nose to Shizune’s, "But, I can’t see you saying no to some minty-cool Izumo."
Shizune slumped. "Why did you have to put that image in my head!? I have to see him every day!"
"The better question is whether I can put that image in your hand." Anko grinned triumphantly. "And I say, if Jiraiya can do it to us, we can do it to the guys. It’ll be a true test of our skills, you know."
Shizune groaned into her hands. "Jiraiya wasn’t trying to take photos. He just peeks on the hot tub. That’s easy. This? We’ll get assassinated. I don’t think there’s been an ANBU job over naked photos, yet, and I’d rather not become the first one."
"So, we just have to make it seem like a prize. Somehow get them to fight over getting naked for us. Shouldn’t be too hard, for some of them — I mean, Gai isn’t exactly world renowned for his brains, and Kotetsu’s ego is big enough for two people. But, shinobi are innately suspicious creatures." Anko screwed her features into a pseudo-serious look. "No worries, I have a plan."
As Anko leapt to the ground, Shizune called after her. "That’s exactly what I am worried about!"