Title: Rhapsody in Ass Major – Chapter 31
Co-Conspirator: 
MaverikLoki
Fandom: Dragon Age
Characters:Â Aveline ♀, Isabela ♀, Merrill ♀, Anton Hawke ♂, Anders ♂, Cormac Hawke ♂, Artemis Hawke ♂
Rating: T (L2Â N0 S2 V1 D0)
Warnings: Anders gets painted up like a sexy raccoon, dick jokes, Artemis learns to share, Cormac's good with whatever, Anders is so down, teh gay
Notes: First, Anders gets very unlucky. Then Anders gets very lucky.
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Title: Rhapsody in Ass Major – Chapter 28
Co-Conspirator: MaverikLoki
Fandom: Dragon Age
Characters: Artemis Hawke ♂, Leandra Amell ♀, Cormac Hawke ♂, Anton Hawke ♂, Bethany Hawke ♀, Anders ♂, Fenris ♂, Isabela ♀
Rating: T (L2 N0 S0 V2 D1)
Warnings: Violence, threats of further violence, Anders has a death wish, Bethany's an Entropy mage, Fenris is irate, mages, everyone's doing Isabela except not, strong implications of femslash and het
Notes: What was that about Anders and a death wish? a.k.a, the chapter where Anders hands Fenris his ass over Artemis.
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Title: Rhapsody in Ass Major – Chapter 4
Fandom: Dragon Age
Characters: Cormac Hawke ♂, Artemis Hawke ♂, Anton Hawke ♂, Carver Hawke ♂, Anders ♂, Aveline ♀, Fenris ♂, Isabela ♀, Merrill ♀, Varric ♂
Rating: T (L2 N2 S0 V0 D0)
Warnings: Exhaustion, brotherly love, zero relationship skills, dick jokes
Notes: Getting out of the Deep Roads. The joy of being outside. Does anyone remember the last time we slept?
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Title: Rhapsody in Ass Major – Chapter 4
Fandom: Dragon Age
Characters: Cormac Hawke ♂, Artemis Hawke ♂, Anton Hawke ♂, Carver Hawke ♂, Anders ♂, Aveline ♀, Fenris ♂, Isabela ♀, Merrill ♀, Varric ♂
Rating: T (L2 N2 S0 V0 D1)
Warnings: Zero relationship skills, exercises in pants-free manoeuvring, PTSD, Justice!Anders
Notes: The morning after the night before. Lots of hangovers. A bit of getting trapped in the Deep Roads.
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Title: Rhapsody In Ass Major
Co-Conspirator: MaverikLoki
Fandom: Dragon Age
Characters: Cormac Hawke ♂, Artemis Hawke ♂, Anton Hawke ♂, Bethany Hawke ♀, Carver Hawke ♂, Leandra Amell ♀, Gamlen Amell ♂, Anders ♂, Aveline ♀, Cullen ♂, Donnic ♂, Fenris ♂, Isabela ♀, Merrill ♀, Sebastian ♂, Varric ♂, Ella ♀, Jethann ♂, Keran ♂, Meredith Stannard ♀, Orana ♀, Orsino ♂, Raleigh Samson ♂, Serendipity ⚧, Tallis ♀, Varania ♀, Theron Mahariel ♂, Kallian Tabris ♀, Alim Surana ♂, Natia Brosca ♀, Nathaniel Howe ♂, Gytha ♀, Zevran Arainai ♂, Cassandra Pentaghast♀,Â
Rating: E (L3 N4 S4Â V3 D1)
Warnings: Smiting, buggery, zero relationship skills, gesticulating with ham, gesticulating with dildoes, is everyone in this fic bisexual?, we did bad shit to canon, butts. did I mention butts? because butts., sass & class & ass, wow damn you can say that in Latin, non-explicit het, non-explicit femslash, terribly explicit slash
Notes:Â DA2 AU in which both Carver and Bethany survive, and there are three older Hawke siblings. And all of them are Purple. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll want to set Fenris on fire a couple times. Nobody knows what the fuck they're doing, but they'll do it anyway! At least people usually know who the fuck they're doing… Except that one time. Starts cracky, but gets semi-serious, decently quickly. Never gets entirely serious, because hello, Purple Hawke does not 'serious'. Or at least three of them don't all at once. IT'S A GODDAMN ROMANCE. JUST READ IT.
"Why does everyone keep saying 'ass'?" said either Anton or the pile of blankets in his shape.
(Fucking AO3 just deleted the 33 chapters of this that we posted in the last month. And now I'm posting it here, JUST IN CASE JESUS FUCKING CHRIST. This master post will take on new chapters as I manage to post them, so it should stack up pretty quick over the next day or two.)
Update: This master post will include the entire series. Links to AO3 for the parts I didn't have any part in writing.
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Title: 5+1: The Flagpole
Fandom: Dragon Age
Characters: Anders ♂, Hawke ♂, Karl ♂, Nathaniel ♂, Isabela ♀
Rating: E (L2 N4Â S3 V0 D1)
Warnings: Dick jokes, smut, prostitution
Notes: Anders isn't just well-hung, he's outrageously hung, and it's actually a problem. (This started as a joke in Rhapsody, and then it got out of hand.)
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Title: The Soggy Set-Up
Fandom: Dragon Age
Characters: Anders ♂, Varric ♂, Fenris ♂, Aveline ♀, Merrill ♀, Isabela ♀, Irving ♂, Greagoir ♂
Rating: T (L2 N2 S0 V0 D1)
Warnings: Non-consensual voyeurism, Anders has no sense of self-preservation, Templars making trouble
Notes: Anders tells a story of his time in the tower. Do we remember Greta and her trouble with the Templars, from the Mage Origin? Greta gets a happy ending, Anders gets dragged naked through the hall, and Irving ends up with an awful lot of ammunition.
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Title: FUCK PANTS
Fandom: Dragon Age
Characters: Fenris ♂, M!Hawke ♂, Isabela ♀, Varric ♂, Anders ♂
Rating: T (L2Â N0 S1 V0 D1)
Warnings: Crack, more crack, Justice impressions, dirty jokes, totally inappropriate things happening under the table
Notes: For MaverikLoki. Worst influence, yo. Paragon of Bad Influence. Justice is strongly opposed to robes, and has been leaving Anders notes on the subject. (I swear that makes more sense in context.) Anders is not a big fan of pants, but Justice keeps rearranging his wardrobe, when he stops paying attention. But, Hawke finds one of those notes, and mayhem ensues. (C'mon, it's me. Of course there's mayhem.)
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Title: How Far Can Too Far Go? (Chapter 1)
Fandom: Dragon Age
Characters: Fenris ♂, Anders ♂, Hawke ♂, Varric ♂, Isabela ♀
Rating:Â G- (L1Â N0 S0 V1 D1)
Warnings: Knob jokes, drinking, and throttling
Notes: So, technical difficulties sorted, I'll now be posting the last two weeks of crap. Kind of all at once. Something something fandom happened. I made a joke about Fenris/Justice and effingshamwow totally egged me on. This is probably the only relatively tame chapter, and I'd still suggest putting down your drink. It arcs up pretty fast. (You can blame Fallen London for the mushroom wine. It just seemed like a very Darktown thing to do, and you can't convince me the Hanged Man doesn't serve some sincerely questionable things.)
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