Jul 082013
 

Title: Pricks & Thumbs-06
Fandom: Fear Mythos
Characters: Rich Providence
Rating: G- (L0 N0 S0 V0 D1)
Warnings: Drinking and mentions of completely offscreen fighting. Non-explicit mention of a razorhound eating somebody’s livestock.
Notes: Cheesehouse. Drinking. Music that makes conversation difficult. Gangstee-style bar fight. It’s just like the Old World! Except not. At all.


So, you know, I really like Slurry’s. There’s a couple of cheesehouses in town, but Slurry’s is the sanest one. They put lids on your drinks and there’s a patio just for The River. If you want to go sit with The River, you can, but they’re not getting near your drink, unless you let them. A lot of places that serve food just won’t let The River in at all. Thank Them for takeout, I guess.

Anyway, yeah, I went to see Jimmy and Lola, and we drank way too much kumis. Johnny Gin’s Orchestra was playing, tonight. They’re not the kind of band I’d go see on purpose, but they’re good atmosphere in a place like Slurry’s, even if they do make it so you have to ask people to repeat themselves like twelve times. I was pretty sure Jimmy didn’t actually say ‘Todd Morgan’s potatoes committed suicide’, but you know, I missed what he did say. We got Lola laughing so hard Dave Slurry had to throw us out, because it started to rain at our table. Sorry, Dave. Bet your beak we’ll make it up to you.

I don’t even remember what we were talking about, by then. Earlier, I told Jimmy about crime and punishment in the Old World. It’s a good thing I brought the book along, because he didn’t believe me. I almost don’t believe me. It just seems so… inefficient to have a bunch of people basically argue about why you did or didn’t do something, and then try to convince a bunch of other people to vote on it. I mean, Cynics. They just kind of … watch you until you confess to something. Not always what they think you did, which is usually pretty funny, when that happens, but to something. The thing you’re guiltiest about.

Jimmy tells me he can’t see what somebody feels guilty about, but he can see stuff that’s related to it, so he’ll bring those things around or ask about them. One time, the thing this guy was guilty about more than anything in the world was that he ate his wife’s last few slices of eel, on a sandwich, and then lied to her about it. Jimmy kept seeing sandwiches, theft, a woman, and hunger, so he kept hassling the guy, thinking he was responsible for stealing this old lady’s strider and eating it. Kept like, sitting near the guy and eating sandwiches, talking about how delicious they were, and how Lola made the very best sandwiches. Finally, the guy started crying and confessed to eating his wife’s lunch and how he was sure she was going to kill him, and Jimmy just didn’t know what to do with him. Aaaaaawkward. Turns out the strider got loose and ran out of town. They found a few bones, the next week. Razorhounds got it.

So, yeah, the Cynics aren’t always right, but they can tell when you’re telling the absolute truth, so even if they’re wrong, they find out pretty quick. It seems so much less insane than the Old World way of doing things. But, then, they didn’t have Cynics.

Anyway, we ended up standing around outside the cheesehouse, waiting for Lola to stop raining, ’cause none of us really wanted to bring that inside, anywhere else. We could still hear the band. And then, after a few minutes, we could hear something else. Drummer Dolls. So, we did what any sane people would do. We called in to Dave to close up the shop and lock the doors, and then we took off. The Dolls only drum when they’ve been commanded to strike another sept, right? We watched a little from the alley across the road, and it looked like they came after The River, which just didn’t make any sense. But, I’m not one of Those Who Walk Before, so maybe I don’t know. Maybe there was a way the Dolls could have won that, but I know a couple of them wound up with gills, before we left. I hid out at Jimmy and Lola’s until the drumming stopped.