Jul 031996
 

Title: The (Other) Spam Song
Rating: G-
Warnings: Put down your coffee, first. No, really.
Notes: Okay, this was totally for the lulz. My mum’s boyfriend was the leader of a Boy Scout troop, and they called themselves ‘The Spam Brigade’, and even got patches for it, from Hormel. No shit. So, they used to filk pop songs, on hikes, but inserting the word ‘spam’ in place of other things. This resulted in classics like ‘Black Hole Spam’, and other utterly tea-spittingly good stuff. So, one night, I wrote them their very own song about spam.


I guess I’m something of a fool
I spend all my time in school
I don’t make much
Working at Burger King
I regret quitting my job
At Teriyaki Chicken Bowl
‘Cause at least they fed me there
Now all I can afford isn’t ham
All I can afford is spam, spam, spam

==
Spam spam spam spam spam spam
I got too much spam
You can eat it if you can
But when you’re through
Please, please please,
Don’t you cut the cheese
==

There’s an art to eating ramen noodles
I don’t think I’ve mastered it yet
Every time I pick up a forkful
I get all soaking wet
But spam is a little less soggy
And you don’t need to wrap it round a fork
And if you don’t see that
I am right
Then go back to school, you dork

==
Spam spam spam spam spam spam
I got too much spam
You can eat it if you can
But when you’re through
Please, please please,
Don’t you cut the cheese
==

I got some macaroni and cheese
It comes in a box
Doesn’t go well with lox
But it goes great with spam

Spam spam spam spam spam spam
Spam spam spam spam spam spam
Spam spam
Spam spam spam
Spam spam
Spam spam spam
Spam spam spam spam spam spam