Title: (Re)Making an Angel: Things Better Left Unsaid
Fandom: Supernatural
Characters: Sam Winchester ♂, Dean Winchester ♂, Castiel ♂, Kafziel (OC) ♂
Rating: 
(L3 N0 S3 V0 D1)
Warnings: Blasphemy, dysfunctional family dynamics, suggestions of future angel smut, discussion of sex, mentions of fisting, the jawbone of an ass Dean's mouth
Notes: Cas finally makes an appearance! Dean gets some screen time, and promptly regrets it! Sam may never be able to look his brother or Cas in the eye again! And Cas demands that Kafziel respect his sexual prowess! DEMAAAAAANDS. Still no porn. That's the next chapter.
Sam hadn't let go of Kafziel's hand, since they left the bunker, and the angel understood that distrust and didn't say a word. Other people in town, though, seemed to take them for a couple, which resulted in some odd looks, however smashing they may have looked together. Sam wore his dismay well, if a bit obviously. After all, what was there to say? 'No, it's not like that, he's my brother-in-law'? Brother-in-law was pretty close, he thought. This was Cas's brother, and he was Cas's brother, but Kafziel wasn't his brother. Hm. Half-brother? Step-brother? Just another goddamn angel, and that was something he couldn't just tell people.
They found Castiel where he said he would be, holding a takeout bag. "I also got one for your brother. And for my brother," he said, handing the bag to Sam.
"Thanks, Cas. Dean will love you. Crowley will cry. Again." Sam took the bag and shook it open to examine the contents, without letting go of Kafziel's hand.
Castiel spoke again. "Hello, Kafziel. I thought you died in the rebellion."
That was an accusation.
"Yes. I know. Come back to Sam's with us, and I will make things right." Kafziel does not say 'come home'. He's not even sure where home is any longer. "Not all things, but several important ones."
"What makes you think you will be able to give back my grace?"
"Cas!" Sam interrupted. "Not here. Too many people."
Kafziel held out his hand. "Can you still see me, Castiel? Do you see that trace of Gabriel on me? That is what makes me think I can give it back. I taught Gabriel to give back mine, and I know I am not the last to remember the means, though there were few of us. Most, I believe, left with the rebels."
"If there is a way, why is it not on the tablet?" Castiel argued.
"What? It should be on the tablet. Metatron knows it." There's a long pause. "You had the tablet? Oh." Another pause. "That's what happened. I had wondered. Angel Radio has been a little staticky, since you swallowed the Leviathans. And then Metatron, well… I lost track of your amazing adventures."
The deadpan delivery of the last was not lost on Sam, who snorted quietly.
"But, if you had the tablet, where is the prophet? I can prove what I'm telling you, if you have the prophet look for it on the tablet. I know it's there. It has to be. It's part of us," Kafziel insisted.
"Our prophet's dead. Heaven's closed for maintenance. There are no prophets left," Sam filled in, bleakly. "And we don't still have the tablet."
"Rough week," Kafziel commented, with a sympathetic glance.
"Rough few months," Sam corrected. "Come on, Cas. Let's get off the street, at least. You can have the rest of this argument at home."
Castiel clutched his cherry slush protectively, and then nodded and took Kafziel's other hand. "You have already found us, and I am nearly gone. Trickery would hardly be necessary if you meant us harm."
Together, they walked around the side of the building and vanished between one window and the next.
"Dean?" Sam called out, as he opened the door of the bunker. "We're home!"
"Oh, thank god. He's high as a kite, watching Sixteen Candles, and crying in his wine." Dean clung to the bottom stair rails, looking horrified. "I can't take it, Sam. Make him stop."
Sam levelled a resigned gaze at Kafziel. "Demon problems." The 'Do you see what I have to put up with?' was implied. "Dean, just leave him with a bottle of chocolate syrup. He'll get over himself. Didn't you move the other television into your room? Watch something else."
"How about I just stay with you guys. You look strangely sane, today." Dean held a hand out to Kafziel. "Dean Winchester. Didn't catch your name."
"Kafziel, angel of the— former angel of the Lord." He corrected himself, as he took Dean's hand, still sorely pissed at his father and brother. "Your brother tells me you had an accident with the jawbone of an ass."
"You told him that?"
"Dean, he's an angel. You're … kind of a demon. I had to say something."
"I really thought Cain had finally managed to get rid of that thing. I apologise. That is something I do not know how to solve." Kafziel clapped a hand on Dean's shoulder and leaned in closer. "Your other demon problem can probably be temporarily abated by slipping valium into his wine. If he's gone native, I'm willing to believe he won't be able to shake it off."
"Sammy? Can we keep this guy?" Dean grinned. "I'm starting to like you, angel."
Castiel interrupted, as they made their way into the main room. "Dean, I bought a bacon cheeseburger for you, while we were out. Sam has it."
"Burgers for all." Sam held up the bag. "But, after lunch, you should probably put in earplugs and go watch porn. You do not want anything to do with what's about to happen, here."
"Sounds exciting. Why am I leaving you alone with two angels?" Dean snatched the bag and fished his burger out of it.
"I, too, would appreciate an answer to that question. You have yet to explain to me how you intend to rebuild my grace." Castiel squinted intently up at Kafziel, sucking on the straw in his slush.
Sam froze. Dean did not need to hear this. Dean hearing this would be the end of the minuscule shreds that passed themselves off as Sam's peace of mind. He snatched the bag back. "Hey, are you sure that's not my burger?"
"Of course I am. Yours always has extra mayo," Dean mangled out around a mouthful.
Kafziel took advantage of the opportunity to speak quietly with his brother, while the Winchesters argued over the burgers. "Castiel, I understand this will be difficult, but I know that it works. It worked when Gabriel did it for me. We need to…" Castiel was not Gabriel, and there was something about this vessel's face that just made the rest of that sentence extremely difficult. "We must have intercourse. It is slightly more complicated, but that is the essence."
Silence settled over the room.
"I'm sorry, did you just say you need to fuck my angel in the ass?" Dean demanded.
"I am not your angel, Dean. At this point, I am barely an angel at all," Castiel protested. "This does not seem to involve any violence. I will not need to fatally slit the throat of another of my siblings or… Well, you saw what happened with Anna. If it does not work, I will have wasted a single somewhat awkward evening."
"With a dick in your ass!" Dean complained. "And he's your brother, isn't he? Sammy, if it ever comes to this, the answer is no. You get to stay dead."
"Thanks, Dean. I really needed that image." Again. Sam sat on the edge of the table and sighed. This was the scene he'd been trying to avoid.
Castiel stepped forward and handed his cup to Dean, then placed both hands on Dean's shoulders. "I realise that you are concerned about me, but I have done all I could do, and more. If this is the end, at least I will have fought. Besides, I have tried sex. I found it enjoyable, if the aftermath less so, but I had it with the wrong person. This time, it will not be with a reaper. It will be with my brother, who is trying to help me, and is willing to put a piece of himself inside me, so that I can again become the angel you have always relied upon." He paused. "You should shower, Dean. You smell like sulphur, again."
"He's your brother! That's twice as bad! And he's an angel, and I don't much like angels, right this minute. Well, you, but I don't mean you. You know that."
"Would you rather I had sex with Meg? She is not an angel or my brother, and she offered."
Sam choked on his burger. Kafziel just crossed his arms and looked amused.
"No! I would not rather you have sex with Meg! Especially not Meg! She's a manipulative bitch! She's a demon!" Dean shouted.
"You're a demon."
"And I'm not having sex with you, either!"
Sam tossed the last burger to Kafziel, who caught it easily and shrugged. 'Brothers, right? What are you going to do?' It was understood.
"Dean, I think what you're missing here is that this isn't your decision," Sam threw in. "It's Cas's. And he's made it."
Dean turned on him, smacking the cherry slush against Cas's chest. Cas caught it, of course, but he had to let go of Dean to do it. "How are you so ok with this?"
"It's not my decision. And more importantly, it's not my dick and your ass." Sam shrugged. "Which I would do if it would save your life, but it would immediately be followed by alcohol poisoning for both of us."
"Hell, no! That is a door that says 'no entry'. It comes to that, you give me a hunter's funeral, and we call it good."
Sam squinted down at his brother. "It's not as horrible as you make it out to be, Dean. Awkward as hell, under those circumstances, yeah. But, taking it in the ass is not the worst thing in the universe."
Castiel added his agreement. "Your brother rather enjoys it, Dean. I had the opportunity to observe him with Ruby—"
"Oh my god, Cas! Shut up about Ruby! I don't even care what you saw, just don't tell me you saw it. And don't tell Dean! About any of it!" Blood rushed to Sam's face, and he glowed with incandescent horror.
Dean's eyebrows shot up and he looked suprisingly thoughtful. "Ruby's got a—?"
"No!" Sam howled.
"I believe she was using her fist," Castiel remarked.
Dean froze, mid-bite. He swallowed hard, cramming that bit of burger down his throat, unchewed, and then tossed the rest of the burger onto the table. "I'm going to go get drunk and watch Sixteen Candles with the King of Hell. You kids have fun."
"Dammit, Cas," Sam groaned, as Dean fled the room.
Castiel continued to look confused around the straw of his cherry slush.
Kafziel eyed Sam with a whole new level of respect. "Fisting? You're bendier than I am."
"Less bendy, more stretchy," Sam corrected, absently, still staring, horrified, after his brother.
"I thought he knew," Castiel defended himself. "He always says you cry during sex. I would probably also cry if she were doing that to me."
"Cas? More cherry slushy. Less talking. And for the last time, I do not." Sam looked at Kafziel. "He's been like this for years."
"I can only praise your infinite patience." The tall angel looked like he meant it. "Do you happen to have any holy oil? We will need to borrow some. Having seen his condition, I would also prefer to have yohimbe, ginseng, and ginger on hand. This may not be as simple as it was, with Gabriel."
"I might have seen some MDMA, in one of the labs, if you think that'll help," Sam offered.
"Please."
"I do not see the relevance of these herbs," Castiel declared.
"They're not all herbs. But, you know what? I'm going to go to the lab. Why don't you two check out the room behind the third door on the right, and I'll be right back with a few things." Sam fled in the opposite direction as his brother. "You should take the beer, too! It's in the fridge!" He called back.
Cas found the beer, and Kafziel led his brother down the hall. "You need to be able to enjoy this experience, or it may not work. I can provide you with some chemicals to make that easier. All you have to do is relax and tell me what you like. I know you have made a point not to mind what this body tells you, that you can turn off those signals, as long as there is still grace in you, so I want to make sure that when it tells you what it wants, you can hear it."
"I can always hear it. And feel it. But, it is rarely relevant." Castiel opened the door of the room they had been directed to. "I am not yet human again. Why would it matter, now?"
"It is an erotic magic. If I am not swept away with passion, you will not receive my grace. If you are not equally enraptured, it will not settle into you. I taught Gabriel to perform the spell, and he taught me some questionable uses for local plants. It took us weeks to get it right, but it was the first time either of us had tried. How could we know that the ability to ejaculate on command would not serve us, in this?" Kafziel examined the room, taking in the sparseness. "I did not ask. What is this place?"
"This was one of the bunkers of the Men of Letters. It is said to be the only one, and they are said to all be deceased, but I am not sure I believe either of these things, although this cell has been wiped out." Castiel sat on the edge of the bed, the only appropriate seating in the room, still wearing his coat. "I assure you I understand how to enjoy sex. I have had it. I have also watched pornography, extensively."
"And Sam and his girlfriend," Kafziel pointed out, drily.
"She was not his girlfriend. She was a demon, and she was using him," Castiel protested. "But, yes. I watched them, because I was trying to protect Dean."
"Who has just turned into a demon, through entirely unrelated means."
"It has been difficult to watch him, not being an angel," Castiel ground out. "The point is, I can perform sexually."
"But, can you be thrilled by it? Can you forget all the things you need to remember, and just enjoy it?"
