Title: 50 Sentences (Beta): Mike and Quentin
Fandom: Corybantic Dance (Refitted)
Characters: Michael Sorrentino, Quentin Moriarty
Notes: Corybantic Dance moved so far and so unrecognisably from canon, that we’ve refitted it as original fiction. That kinda lets us put in all the stuff we edited out because it didn’t fit with the canon characters, and some other important edits. So, without further ado, here’s Mike and Quentin — you already kind of know them.
#1 Walking: Mike knew his face would never be the same, but the fact that Q was walking again was enough to keep him content.
#2 Waltz: Mike still remembers watching Quentin sweep some unsuspecting girl into a waltz, to the beat of a stompy industrial song, at a club one night — just to prove he was right about the rhythm, of course.
#3 Wishes: Quentin knew what he’d do with three wishes: one for Mike’s face, one for Colin’s lungs, and one to make his mother a millionaire.
#4 Wonder: Mike frequently wondered how Quentin could separate the multitude of one-night stands from his only serious relationship so completely.
#5 Worry: Quentin rarely let anyone see him worry, and for many years, Mike was the only subject of that worry who saw it.
#6 Whimsy: Mike liked to tell people that Q was irresponsible; Quentin insisted he was whimsical.
#7 Wasteland: Quentin viewed the world as Eliot had written The Waste Land, and it drove him to flamboyant displays of Good and Right, because the world should end, he said, with a bang.
#8 Whiskey & Rum: They drank whiskey, together, because Quentin always had a bottle of Jameson, but Mike preferred a smooth rum.
#9 War: At his uncle’s urging, Mike nearly joined the reserves, but Quentin convinced him that action was laudable, but war would make him less of a man.
#10 Weddings: Quentin avoided weddings like a contagious plague, and Mike joked that he was just afraid of contracting monogamy.
#11 Birthday: Quentin refused to tell anyone when his birthday was, but Mike knew, and bought him a gag gift every year.
#12 Blessing: Quentin did not expect to see morning, ever, and only slightly disagreed with Mike’s decision that every day was a blessing.
#13 Bias: When Quentin ranted about Mike’s extremely feminist girlfriend, Mike called him biased against women.
#14 Burning: Lying in the burning wreckage of the crash, Quentin was completely unconcerned about his leg, because he’d seen what was left of Mike’s face.
#15 Breathing: Quentin burst into the hospital room, eyes glassy with panic, and Mike grabbed him, saying, "He’s still breathing, Q. It’s okay. He’s still breathing."
#16 Breaking: When Colin left, for a time, to try his luck with a woman, Quentin felt his heart breaking — cracking and chipping, slowly disintegrating — but Mike — in that weird psychic way best friends have — arrived a few hours later with a bottle of whiskey and no girlfriend.
#17 Belief: Mike has always held a strong belief that Quentin is just different, and consensual reality just doesn’t apply to him, most of the time.
#18 Balloon: They watched a balloon drift by overhead, and Quentin laughingly raised his voice in song: "And it rained like a slow divorce…"
#19 Balcony: No matter where Quentin lived, he insisted on either roof access or a balcony; Mike always said it was because he was lunar-powered and needed his nightly dose of lunacy.
#20 Bane: For all that Mike had decided that girls were the bane of his existence, he just kept trying to find one he liked.
#21 Quiet: Mike had always been the quiet one, and Quentin kept trying to "fix" him.
#22 Quirks: Quentin called his oddities ‘quirks’; Mike called them violations of the laws of nature.
#23 Question: When Quentin said he had a question, Mike knew it was time to find a riot shield.
#24 Quarrel: Mike and Quentin never really fought; mostly they quarreled like children in a sandbox, and it ended in some spit and beer soaked, laughing brawl on the carpet.
#25 Quitting: When a man on the street saw Q chewing on a pen and asked if he were quitting, Mike actually burst out laughing at the idea of Quentin smoking at all.
#26 Jump: When Quentin said, one fine heartbroken evening, that he wanted to jump off a bridge, Mike showed up the next day with a pass for a day of bungee jumping.
#27 Jester: Dana called Q Colin’s jester, but Mike kept telling her he was just a fool.
#28 Jousting: After a movie, the topic of conversation had turned to a jousting tournament scene, and when Mike saw the look in Quentin’s eye as he opened his mouth, he threw a roll of duct tape at his best friend’s head.
#29 Jewel: When Quentin caught Mike listening to Jewel, he threw his hands up and accused his friend of being a lesbian in a man’s body.
#30 Just: It was common knowledge that Q was mad, but Mike fancied himself the only one who knew that he was just.
#31 Smirk: The first time Q remembers seeing Mike smirk was when he told Mike he was in love with Colin.
#32 Sorrow: Mike knows there’s a pessimistic pall over everything Quentin does or says, and Spark calls it the ghost of sorrow, but Mike thinks it’s far more corporeal than that.
#33 Stupidity: If there’s one thing that pisses Quentin off, it’s the default assumption of Mike’s stupidity, based on his taciturn nature and muscle mass.
#34 Serenade: When Q decided to serenade Colin, from below his window, one winter, Mike took photos, strictly for later blackmail.
#35 Sarcasm: Mike speculated that if you could bottle Quentin’s sarcasm, it would not only take the finish off a car, but probably also the hood.
#36 Sordid: Q claims to live a sordid rock n’ roll lifestyle, but Mike insists that, compared to high school, he lives like a priest.
#37 Soliloquy: When Quentin starts talking, he doesn’t stop until he’s waxed poetic in a semi-epic fashion: Mike calls it ‘soliloquizing’, but Colin calls it ‘irritating’.
#38 Sojourn: Q claims to have sojourned in college, by which, Mike explains, he means he walked away in the middle of a semester to go to cooking school, and never spoke of it again.
#39 Share: Lovers are the only thing that Quentin and Mike do not share.
#40 Solitary: Mike is not the solitary animal he pretends to be, nor is Quentin as social as he seems…
#41 Nowhere: Once they drove to the middle of nowhere, just to see what wasn’t there; Mike thinks Quentin may never have left the wide open solitude.
#42 Neutral: Colin and Quentin rely on Mike to be their neutral third party, since they both know he won’t mince words if Quentin’s being a moron.
#43 Nuance: Quentin knows every subtle nuance of Mike’s ruined face, and can read his best friend like an open book.
#44 Near: "Nearly dead means there’s still life in him, and I’ll be here when he wakes up," Quentin insisted, stubbornly holding on to Colin’s hand, as Mike tried to carry him out of the hospital room to shower and get some food.
#45 Natural: Mrs. Sorrentino sometimes complains that Quentin isn’t natural, but Mike protests that by definition, he must be, since he’s never known Q to be any other way.
#46 Horizon: Mike prefers hilly places, because a flat horizon always makes him feel like he’s going to fall off the world.
#47 Valiant: When Colin protested at Quentin carrying him home, Mike brushed it off, with a smug glance at Quentin, explaining that Q was just trying to be valiant and chivalrous, and there was no sense in damaging his ego over something so small.
#48 Virtuous: Spark and Jasper like to joke that Quentin makes them look virtuous.
#49 Victory: Every time Colin wins another chess tournament, Mike puts his head between his knees so no one will see him when Quentin leaps up on the seat, shouting "Victory!" in the worst possible Chinese accent.
#50 Defeat: Mike and Quentin have never known defeat — just a few minor setbacks.