A Few Notes, Before We Begin

Let it be said that I meant to write smut, and then half a casefic happened. A few points:

1) I'm not ignoring Jump the Shark, but consider this a fix-it of sorts because fuck that shit, tbf. (I'm assuming that's set sometime in the spring of 2002.) I also am pretty much ignoring everything after Season 9 of the X-Files.

2) Langly was born somewhere between 1965 and 1969, depending on what you're looking at. I picked 1968, here, based on Frohike's '32-year-old virgin' line, which appears to have happened in 2000. Canon confirms October 13, 1968. Hi, I'm a space case.

3) At the time of this writing, it is presently mid-2018. This fic is set somewhere in the near future, but before October, as Reid says he's 37. Obviously, if you're reading this after next season starts, all kinds of shit will be blatantly weird. I can only hope the weird is ... somewhat less blatant before then.

4) I've dicked around with the first like... 8k of this so much, I probably broke something. If you spot a typo or me being dumb, please be kind, but do let me know.

5) I shouldn't have to say it, but... 'don't like; don't read'. We're all adults here. I'm sure you know where the back button is.

6) I shit up entirely and both of them are a year older than they should be. OH WELL, CLOSE ENOUGH